And the Award Goes to…

Fresh off a massive show at Company Brewing, we’re here to discuss the what happened last night. With 10 teams packing the house I suspect Nick is still catching his breath. Meanwhile, I’m over here making wild allegations against teams like The Hopefuls. I haven’t seen this name pop up on the score sheets before, so it’s no surprise the ended the night with only 32 points.

You see, trivia is like the New York Times crossword puzzle in a way. If you try to do it just once, you’re not going to do to well. You might think any reference to a TV alien might mean Mork from Ork or The Mooninites, but once you’ve been playing for a while you understand that the answer is always ALF. You can’t fit Zoidberg in a three-letter space. I suspect we’ll see better scores from The Hopefuls in the future.

Then there are the teams that are destined for mediocrity. You take TEEB NABE, Seppuku Hand Luke and Best Double Chicken Ever, with their scores of 33, 36 and 39 and you begin to understand. It’s like how I played little league for three years in my youth. I was not good. I suspect by the end of my career as a baller, I was strictly showing up to see if anyone had painted over the “Jessie is a hoare [sic]” that someone had scribbled on the bench. I spent a lot of time on that bench. Go TEEB NABE! Go Anderson Windows Brewers!

Team Names are Hard put up 48 on the night, while Cthulu Lemon scored 53 and Tunnelsnakes held down the middle with 55 points. Third place went to Scrambled Eggs who earned a solid 60, but then those ice-cold trivia killers on Evil League of Evil dropped a bonus point and nabbed second place with 61. And on top it was S&M&Ms who rang up 62 after their bonus point.

Tonight we move east, over to Brady Street at the Up & UnderLewis, fresh off another Emmy Award show wherein he was nominated in every category, except Best Support Actress in a Drama Series which rightfully went to Thandie Newton, but won nothing, is ready to drop 50 hot ones on your team. If you want to get in the mix, all you have to do is be at the the Up & Under tonight. The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

Some Fools are Running Their Mouths

Coming in with a late one for all those Company Brewing players.

We are back at it tonight in just a couple hours which mean you need to study up on topics like Dolly Parton, Styles of Headwear and Lincoln During the Civil War.

Now maybe you’ve got that one player on your team who thinks they have this week all figured out. They’re over there talking about how they karaoke the hell out of Jolene. How they know the difference between a bowler and scuptop. How they know Lincoln created the log before the war began but wasn’t awarded the patent until after the battle at Fort Sumter and it just seemed uncouth to discuss toys when the country was at falling apart.

That person is full of lies. Karaoke isn’t a verb, scuptops are not hats and the civil war never happened. Sure, you can keep This liar on your team, but be wary of any answers they provide.

So get your whole team together, slip on your drinking chainmail and get down to Company Brewing we’re Nick is about to send it with 50 questions. The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

Of Horn Dogs and Fuck Hounds

This is a little story about love and how that emotion can blindside you. The other night at the Up & Under there was this team, Eating Tiger Men, first timers, and couple lovers or whatever. Anyway, they met in college in a place relevant to an unannounced round in this week’s trivia show. They thought for sure that gave them the advantage and they would walk away victorious.

So they sat there, having drinks, answering questions, probably making googly eyes at each other and dry humping on the table. Total horn-dogs these two. They were just coasting on that “love will win” vibe. But let me tell you something, sometimes love doesn’t win.

It certainly didn’t that night. In fact these two fuck hounds, Eating Tiger Men, they finished second. They were only able to rub up on enough correct answers to create 65 points. But you know what did win? KNOWLEDGE. And Trivia Newton John brought it with their 67-point total. In all reality Eating Tiger Men put up an impressive score for a first time team.

Also regarding the Tuesday night show, I have documentation showing Shiva Kamini grabbing third place with 64 points. I also have a note that says Shiva was not there and the team’s name was actually Wet Dreamcast. I’m not 100% certain what any of this really means, but there was a 3rd place team. There was also Who Pooped in the Pool who put up 39 points or something.

Now back to this blindsided by love theme.

You all know Kathleen and Travis, right? Well they’re getting married this weekend and opted to have their Stag & Doe party tonight. Suckers. It’s like they didn’t even check the calendar and say “Shit, dog, that’s a Thursday night. We can’t possibly bring all the Neal of Fortune heavy hitters together then not even go to trivia.”

Yet they have exactly that.  Which means the top spot is open for any team to fill. Will Spoony Bards grab a first place finish? Being it’s not a league show, it seems doable. What of Clever Girl? Will they seize power? Or imagine Good Enough going from worst to first like some sort of best-case scenario for the Cleveland Browns. Of course, it could also be Team Drink Tickets, who have still not let me know if they are in for the Trivia Weekend in the Woods. WTF Kirstie? Kyle? Janet? Javier?

And I shouldn’t fail to mention TV Dogs. They’ll probably win. Fucking TV Dogs.

Of course, every trivia show is open to anyone who wants to have a good time and a few Lagunitas Brews. All you have to do is get to Glass Nickel Pizza on Atwood tonight, look for us in the basement. The show starts at 7pm. See you there.


Let the CoBrew League Begin

I gotta give a tip of the hat to Riverwest for coming out strong last night. I mean sure, there was a certain pent up energy because Nick took the holiday week off, but regardless of the host’s apathy or general laziness, the players came back determined. I mean Lewis and Andy may or may not have taken the week off last week, I never saw their scores, and I should have done so because players in Madison deserve a break, just like five minutes without me yapping at them about the merits of Ballers, or the fact that Nezzo has learned to adjust the volume on the stereo at home and I haven’t listened to a complete song since, or the plight of the Romani. Honestly, Madison needs a nap, but do they get it? Nah.

Nick, on the flipside, observes holidays like the postal service.

It’s on the teams to carry that Company Brewing show. Players like …And Justice for Allan Lane, who delivered no real justice last night, scoring only 41 points. BUT THEY STILL SHOWED UP. Best Salty Ladeez Ever dropped an even 50. Seppuku Hand Luke obviously put more effort into a quality team name than learning anything about…anything. Their 56 points was easily topped by Scrambled Eggs, who earned 63.

Team Names are Hard tossed up 64, but couldn’t keep up with Tunnelsnakes. The way Tunnelsnakes comes in so tepid when it’s league time is amazing.

For real, last night was the first night of your fall league, and you scratch together 78 points. Fifth place out of ten teams. I just imagine you guys dropping three-star yelp reviews all over town. When people ask how you’re doing, you typically respond with “fair to middling”. The fact that you just some folk art wordplay doesn’t even phase anyone because you’re honestly, incredibly, impressively okay.

Fourth place saw a tie between TEEB NABE and S&M&Ms. Both teams ended the night with 82, but that was only after S&M&Ms was penalized for too many cooks. Cthulu Lemon spewed forth 95 points and the Evil League of Evil took home first place with 99 points.

Side note: the Evil League of Evil has it’s on trivia team facebook page which is a level of commitment I respect.

You know what else has a FB page, the Weekend in the Woods with Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia. A whole weekend of camping with trivia people from Madison and Milwaukee. I’ve heard some people say it’s going to be better than The Gathering of the Juggalos, but like worse-better, whatever that means. Find out more here and let us know if you’re coming through.

Tonight the trivia show rolls on to the Up & Under. Lewis, a man who rejects the flat Earth premise but insists the moon is conical and we are simply looking at the bottom of it, will be there to snap off 50 questions, crack some jokes and crown some team the champion. If you think that could be you, get to the Up & Under on Brady Street tonight.

The show starts at 7pm. See you there.


Week 37 is GO!

We’re calling you out, Company Brewing players. Just imagine me, rolling gently through the streets of Riverwest, three growlers hanging from my fingers, clickety-clacking.

I would estimate that not a week goes by when I don’t think about The Warriors.

Monday night players, Nick is back in action and coming at you hot with categories like Know Your Black Metal Logos: Appalachian Edition, The Magnavox Odyssey and of course we’re going to cover Burt Reynolds.


So get your crew together, get your facts in order, and get to Company Brewing tonight by 7pm to get involved in what some people call the “the only REAL trivia in the city, maybe the world”.

Once you’re there, you and your team will need to discuss how many of y’all are heading to the first ever Weekend in the Woods, September 28-30. If you don’t know, it’s an entire weekend full of trivia players at a campground in Dodge County. If you want to know more, check out the Facebook Events post.

See you tonight at 7pm.

Laboring, Again

“Back to work, swine!”

That’s how we were greeted by Nick this morning at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters and Rap Emporium. That dude comes strutting in, fresh off a relaxed Labor Day weekend. He didn’t make eye contact with anyone. He just walked straight to his Big Mouth Billy Bass and was about to turn it on, but stopped, turned partially around and just yelled, “Back to work, swine.”

Then he flipped the toggle to fire up Billy and the last we heard before he shut his office door was the shitty cover, blasted through a crap speaker, of Jeremiah Was a Bullfrog.

If you couldn’t tell from that account, there was no show at Company Brewing last night, so we’re starting the week with the Up & Under show. Lewis, a man who is committed to not wearing any pants after Labor Day, will be heading up the show. Players can expect 50 f-f-f-f-fresh questions on such topics as The Lion King, Great and Pretty Good Rivers, as well as the Oeuvre of Charlize Theron.

So, you already know it’s going to be a hot night on Brady Street. All you have to do is get to the Up & Under, order a few drinks and have a basic understanding of penmanship. As it does every week, the show starts at 7pm. See you there.


Summer’s over, Madison

Listen, Madison, I think we know how this is going to shake out. We’re staring down the summer league finals tonight, which means Neal of Fortune is probably going to win. Honestly, all they have to do is show up. Spoony Bards will hold fast to their motto, “Always the bridesmaids”. Clever Girl will rest on their legacy of being a “Heritage Team”. Good Enough will finish directly in the center of the pack, setting the baseline for all other teams. TV Dogs, these MFers are the loose cannons, the wild cards, the ronin. They’re good, but they have no need the rigors and societal norms of this trivia world. Laura Dern… a once great empire, now just slightly less great.
And the team that supplies us with the weekly serial killer pun, you know they are going to take the drink tickets crown. Like it was ever a competition. Last week alone Janet housed 17 pints of Lagunitas Hop Stoopid. That is not a easy-drinking beer. This is not an team of easy drinkers.
Anyway, we’re going to have some prizes for everyone all you need to do is show up. We’ll be in the basement of Glass Nickel Pizza on Atwood. The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

Burying the Lead

[Scene: Late morning. The upstairs bathroom room in the Black Metal Wing at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Global Headquarters and Rap Emporium on the shores of Trunch Lake. Greg is sleeping on the floor. Smash cut to a close up on his face. His eyes open and a second later he sits straight up. A subscription card to Trivia Writers Weekly is stuck to his face]

Greg: It’s trivia time, y’all!


That’s right players, we’re coming at you with the final shows of August 2018. And it is going to be a week of heaters. We’ve got the Summer League Finals at Glass Nickel on Thursday. But before we get to that we’ve got the Tuesday Night show with Andy and Lewis at Up & Under. And before we get anywhere near that one, we’ve got tonight’s show at Company Brewing.

You might be wondering why was Greg up so late writing questions. And to be honest that had nothing to do with trivia and everything to do with seven attempts at perfecting a Pimm’s Cup and the series finale of Sharp Objects. Oh baby.

This week we’re coming at you, full force, with categories like the 2018-19 NFL season, Pantalones Cuadrados de Spongebob and something about Island nations. If that is not enough to satiate your trivia appetite, we’ll have seven more rounds to stack on top.

To get to the lead, which is buried under a false lead about this week’s trivia, which itself was buried under a very stupid introduction, thus doubly shrouding the big news.

Ahhh Mr Cobb, a dream within a dream.  

We’re doing the first ever Trivia weekend in the woods. September 28-30 Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia will be hosting a weekend-long outing at Astico County Park. There will be campfires. There will be ridiculous games like Forest Bocce and C-low, so bring some dollars. We might even have board games, who knows? All you need to bring is a tent, your sleeping bag and if you want to bake cookies our whatever, you can bring those too. We’ll take care of food and drinks. If you’re in, or just interested, let us know in the comments, in the DMs or in person.

Okay, your takeaways are. The weekend in the woods, September 28-30, and trivia tonight with Nick at Company Brewing in Riverwest. The show starts tonight at 7pm. See you there.


Puff Pastries

Behold! Another week of trivia is upon on us. That means there are 50 hot and fresh-ish questions that will be ready for players at Company Brewing tonight.

If we want to continue with this pastry analogy, the question croissants aren’t even finished. I’m still over here mixing up the dough on these trivia turnovers. Then we’ll pop the query cakes in the oven, cool the brainteaser biscuits and serve them, still warm, at the Company Brewing show tonight.

By now you might be thinking, “But Master Trivia Baker Greg, what kind of quizzical delights are on the Menu?” Well let me tell you. From the Nick’s Kitchen we have a wonderful 5-piece assortment of questions about motorcycles. This is a real treat as I don’t prepare motorcycles questions anymore since that Deer/Motorcycle fusion experiment I tried a few weeks ago. There will also be some Scott Pilgrim Spanakopita and some Hamantashen of Ghosts, Demons and Spirits in Popular Culture.

It’s going to be an all-you-can-think buffet at trivia tonight. If you want to stuff your brain, all you need to do is get your crew together and get to Company Brewing tonight, so Nick can force feed you these mental treats. Some will be sweet, some savory, but they will all be served at 7pm. See you there.


August, When The Swelter Continues

Last night at Company Brewing looked like a bruiser of a match. The Heights came out to play. Sadly, trivia aint playing and they had to learn that the hard way by closing out the night with 31 points. Then, Tunnelsnakes and Hanabi-konan the Barbarian both scored 58 points, but brought in extra players. So both teams were docked 15 points and both teams ended up with 43 points. That cleared the way for Pfffft! To snatch a higher ranking with 46 points. …And Justice for Allan Lane sputtered out at 53. The tie for third went to Scrambled Eggs and The Zucchini’s Are Bigger In Harambe, teams that both put up 61 points. And to top it all off Warren G. Hard-on scraped together 83 points.

Tonight, Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia rolls on to the Up & Under on Brady St. That means as soon as you’re done voting, you’re going to want to get there, grab a seat and a few beers and answer some questions. Lewis, a viable write-in candidate for any position, will be running the show. So you know you’re in good hands.


The show starts at 7pm. See you there.


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