You know, they call it “The City of Bridges”

Greg’s gone from Pittsburgh to the “nation’s” “captial” so you can imagine what trivia will be like the next few weeks.

Meanwhile, I’m stuck at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia World Headquarters and Rap Emporium tending to the underground mushroom farm we had installed last spring. It looks to the untrained eye like a pile old answer sheets piled up and left to rot, lit by the TV in the corner playing Aphex Twin’s Windowlicker on repeat. Look carefully, though, and you’ll see that it’s a pile of old answer sheets and discarded rolling papers piled up and left to rot, lit by the TV in the corner playing Aphex Twin’s Windowlicker on repeat. Whatever it is, it’s a lot of fucking work and these boomers better be worth it. Anyway.

One thing I am and one thing I am not. I am: headed to Company Brewing tonight for our weekly trivia extravaganza. It’s another non-league week, so the pressure’s off if you’re just there to “do your best” and “guzzle…um…beer, I guess.” I am not: on Facebook, so this is as far as your little hint message is going this week.

Speaking of, best to study up on Parodies, Pittsburgh, and Primates, if we’re counting 1933’s King Kong (and I am).

It’s Up & Under Time: Week 27

True to form, Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia keeps rolling!

Since it’s Tuesday, you can find us at Up & Under on Brady Street.

That also means at the helm tonight you’ll find your boy Lewis, the man who recently set the record with 113 consecutive rides on the Summerfest Skyglider and when asked what he did when he needed to use the facilities he replied,”That’s your problem man. You see poops and pees are just a construct. In fact, Summerfest is just a construct. I could have ridden the Skyglider a million times. We all might living in a simulation and I live on a parallel path where all there is are Skyglider rides. Think about it, man. How do we know the Skyglider I see is the same one you see? Because some academic told us so? Come on. Have you ever looked at your Skyglider? I mean really looked at it?”

OOOF.

I’ve heard the bar is packed is 12-ounce knowledge bombs, so don’t be afraid to grab a few of those. The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

Landlocked, and Loving It!

Holiday week is over, Trivia Players. I assume, you’re all very much like me and spent the week on the open sea. Pacing the bow, sucking down a little bit red wine from exotic ports as far away as Sonoma. Being it was my vacation the captain said to me, “What would make your time on the sea better? We’ve got water skis, a wakeboard, you can go wakesurfing…”

“Well,” I told him, ‘My strength truly lies in the use of the inflatable. Just me on a bright yellow tube. The ship cruising at a brisk seven knots, because I wouldn’t want to spill this out there in open water–it’s a 2015 Pagani Ranch Zinfandel.”

Alas, I stayed on board and kept a keen eye on the vessel. This did give me time to think about trivia for the week ahead, and come to the conclusion that we’ll discuss the alleged sinking of the RMS Titanic.

It seems you can take a boy from the sea, but you can’t take the sea from the boy.

In addition to Titanic talk, we’ll also have a category on Baseball Movies and some shit about Gettysburg, for all those United States’ Civil War buffs out there. I suspect the intersection of people who want to talk to you about Baseball movies and those that want to go on and on about the US Civil War is large with many bits of Chex Mix in many beards.

Ifany of this appeals to you, or you just want to be entertained while you cool yourself in a climate-controlled bar this evening, Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia is perfect for you. Join the fun at Company Brewing in Riverwest. There will be drinks, food and 50 questions worth of good times.

The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

 

A New Dawn

Fresh off a national holiday, we’re set to fire up some trivia tonight. As it is every Thursday, Glass Nickel Pizza on Atwood is home to Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia. Yet, This week feels a little different. Maybe it’s because we’re sitting on 50 questions that are going to please about two percent of the players. Or, maybe it’s because I challenged Tunnelsnakes to step into the Madison dojo. They haven’t said yes yet, but they also haven’t said no.

Speaking of Milwaukee teams, I slid into the slides for your crowd-sourced show and the whole lot of you are monsters. You MFers created a Steely Dan category like NBD. And ultimately it was no big deal because someone else submitted Accounting & You. But the pinnacle of that show certainly had to be Folding Tables Don’t Stand a Chance–five questions about Buffalo, New York, without a single mention of the Goo Goo Dolls or Ani Difranco (Yes, this is the second Ani Difranco reference I’ve made this week. I don’t like it, but I’m not sorry about it).

Back to tonight’s show, the real game changer is the restructuring that needs to happen on Neal of Fortune, over the last couple of months they’ve lost 3 members. I’m not going to say those players moved on to better places, because there’s no WHT in Minneapolis, there is no Bamboo Harvester of Sorrows in the Bay, but  Minneapolis and the bay area are both really rad.

Will this loss of players, make their spot atop the league ranking vulnerable? Will Spoony Bards be the Brutus to their Caesar? Will the HH Holmes and the Murder Castle Dancers move on them like a bitch? You guys I spend about 90% of my time trying to come up with bonkers statements, and I still have no clue what it means to move on someone like a bitch. That’s just lazy phrasing.

With Alex and Gabe gone, it’s open season on Thin Lizzy questions. And with Caitlyn gone their Art History knowledge has been greatly diminished. That might hurt them when we take a look at the art featured in the Beyonce and Jay Z video for Apeshit.

Is that a bonus clue for all the players tonight? Probably. But it won’t do you any good unless you decide to play. So get your team together and get down to Glass Nickel Pizza. We’ll be the one in the basement, knocking back drinks with Jake and reminding Simon to bring some napkins for the table. As always, it’s open to everyone, all you have to do is be there by 7pm.

See you then.

 

Summerfestin’

What a week!

Am I right? The Company Brewing crowd just went deep with a crowd-sourced show and the Up & Under players are taking the night off to hit up Summerfest and I assume see Kid Rock or Benchpresser, or like Ani Difranco.

Meanwhile, I’m over here trying to scratch together 50 quezzies to blow minds at the Madison show.

Now, do I have most of the show written? Yes
Have I compiled some real killer questions regarding The Great State of Iowa and Famous Buses? Yes.
Am I hoping Tunnelsnakes will live up to their threat/promise of coming to a Madison show? Most certainly, yes.
Am I still struggling to write a Board Games category? This is also true.  

But I’ll get there. By Thursday night, at 7pm, there will 50 questions, 50 answers and countless opportunities for players to say, “oh, fuck this”.

So Madison players, ready yourselves. Steady yourselves. And prepare for a straight up trivia showdown on Thursday night.

 

Full Summer Mode

Welcome back to the work week. I know it can be hard, but rest easy knowing you are just in time for another groundbreaking, earth-shaking round of Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia. If you’re like me, you’re settling back into normal life after spending a weekend doing category research in the swamped and wooded lands of northern Wisconsin. And if you’re like me, you had an incredibly hard time convincing any of your friends to help you shoot an Apeshit-inspired video in front some of the many fish mounts and taxidermied animals you can find when you go north.

There was a bar that had an entire room dedicated to dead animals. It was not a big room, and by that I mean it actually seemed to have smaller dimensions–like maybe the ceiling was only seven feet high. I think this was to make the animals all look larger because I walked in that room and thought, “Oh my, this is the room of Wisconsin’s finest hunter of juvenile animals.”  

This also the place that had three-dollar bloody marys that I’m pretty sure were made with Campbell’s Tomato Soup and a bartender who seemed very displeased when I suggested calling them Warhols.

All this to say that you gotta know I’m coming at you with a National Forests category tonight. As a memorium we’ve got a Koko the gorilla category and we’ve also cooked a little something on the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

If these seem like the kind of things you might want to answer some trivia questions about, or if you’re just in the mood for a couple pints of Space Whistle MIPA, you’re going to want to be at Company Brewing in Riverwest tonight.

The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

 

Legend of the Brew Pen

In the parlance of our times, I think one could say, we are back on our bullshit over here at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia.

It’s Monday, we’ve got a full rack of questions, and I would suspect there is already a bartender at Company Brewing warming up their tap hand. Who knows, by the time you read this there may be two or three CoBrew ‘tenders in the brew pen.

What’s that? You don’t know about the brew pen? That’s cool. Most people don’t. Let me tell you about it.

Just off the stage, Company Brewing has built a small room with several bars and tappers. There are no customers, so they can actually stack three bar set-ups in a small space. Before a shift starts bartenders spend some time in the brew pen. At one end of the bar a monitor displays an order and the bartender must shuffle back to the taps and pull the correct handle.

It’s important to know the tap handles are set to only 60% resistance of a live tap–they aren’t looking to blow out any arms. After the mock pour, the ‘tender slides back down the bar, taps the monitor and a new order comes up. Occasionally, a barback is sent in just to get in the way, maybe spill huge bucket of ice and generally jam up everything. But a ‘tender gotta ready, you know?  

Not every bar uses, or even has, a brew pen. I know Jake at Glass Nickel likes to go in cold on Thursday nights. And I’m pretty sure the Up & Under only serves cans. But at Company Brewing you can be sure your bartender is ready to go.

Can you imagine if you brought that kind of preparation to Trivia on a Monday night. Think about how great your team could be if you and your whole team cut out of work at like 2pm and started running drills about The Lonely Island, NBA Jam Pairings and Bars and Pubs of TV and Movies. Dang, you guys would be so good.

Pregaming or not, you’re all welcome to show up and try to take home the top prize in trivia tonight. All you have to do is be at Company Brewing in Riverwest at 7pm. See you there.

 

RIP NOF

Trivia was on a wild one last night. If you don’t believe me just check these stats.

Laura Dern and High-Played Bass, a team that is no stranger to the top spot, only scraped together 36 points. While the peer-reviewed and accredited geniopedes on #1 Cat in America dropped a couple drink tickets and still found themselves just under the 40 point mark. Good Enough blasted through and found themselves solidly in the mid-40s with a crushing 43 points. Meanwhile, Clever Girl tossed up 51 points thinking that was enough, only to be topped by Neal of Fortune at the last minute. NOF scored 52.

Spoony Bards and the Quest For Pure Trivia Knowledge scored 73 points, but got bumped into third place when the H.H. Holmies dropped a heavy stack of 19 drink tickets, pushing their score to 74. On top for evening, even before they used 11 drink tickets, it was TV Dogs at 86 points.  

As for the league, Neal of Fortune holds on to the top spot with 13 points. HH Holmies and the Spoony Bards and the Quest for Pure Trivia Knowledge are at 11. Everyone else is somewhere behind them.

Rest up, enjoy the weekend and get ready for it all to start again next week at Company Brewing.

 

Stranger Fruit Salad Days

Sure, the Glass Nickel summer league started last week, but I think this is the week it gets traction. Certainly the Spoony Bards are looking for a better showing. Rumor has it Laura Dern will be zipping-off the legs of their high-waisted paleobotanist pants, which means they mean business. Will TV Dogs show up? What about #1 Cat in America? Will Son of Sam’s Club win a round based on intellect? Will Good Enough finally flip over a table and claim, “This is all bullshit!”? They wouldn’t be wrong. And can Neal of Fortune keep every other team at bay? And can they do it without Alex, who very proudly told me last week, “I won’t be here next time because I’m going to see Mickey Dolenz and Mike Nesmith.” Then she lifted her hoop skirt so she could walk, stepped into her flying car and told me she was off to Blade Run some replicannots, only further confusing me about what generation or timeline she is actually from.

 

It’s important to remember that EVERY team will be tested tonight. Because tonight we’llbe playing under the musical thumb of the new album Stranger Fruit from Zeal & Ardor. If you haven’t listened to it yet, I suggest you do so today, because this whole albums chops.  

 

I understand some teams will see this as a real Sophie’s choice–will they give up their dignity or their team score? But choices have to be made, and ultimately this is just trivia, and your dignity.

 

International House of Ugh

Great news for everyone who ready for some trivia. We’re rolling on with summer league play at Company Brewing tonight.

This is going to be the pick me up we all need after this International House of Burgers ordeal. When you come to Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia, you know you’re going to be in Wisconsin and you know it’s going to be trivia. Sure, sometimes we miss the mark on what is or isn’t “hardest” but it’s not like we’re coming at with a two week run up talking about how now we’re Wisconsin’s Saddest Karaoke. Or Wisconsin’s Shittiest Magic Eye Posters.

The last thing I want when I’m out there at 4pm on a Tuesday crushing a 30-stack of flappety jacks is from grilled fat splatter making my food taste like I’m at Applebee’s. And when people Show up to Company Brewing tonight they want a pint of WMSE Smash Ale and 50 bruiser questions. And that is what we deliver. Every goddamned time. Can you dig it, International House of Pancakes?

So tonight, at 7pm, you and your team are going to roll in, order a few pints maybe a bite to eat and then you’re going to answer questions about things like Collegiate Athletic Conferences, Corvids and the movie Borat.

That’s a real solid set. See you tonight!

 

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