Feast or Famine

[Cyrus voice] Trivia players, this week some of us will feast. Some of us will famine. Some of us will get stuffed with turkey and gravy. Smashed potatoes and pumpkin pies. Vegan loaf and walnut balls. Some will feast. Some will famione. Can you dig it?

We got the Company Brewing Players here. They’re going to feast tonight. 50 questions. Stacked up and shipped out Nick himself. And the same goes for the Up & Under crew tomorrow night with Lewis sharing the knowledge. And look around you, we got the Moonrunners right by the Van Cortlandt Rangers. Some will feast.

But famine comes, this week, to the Madison teams. You got no trivia. You got no family. What you got is dry cereal and leftover margarita mix. A pathetic harvest indeed. Perhaps you’ll travel to Milwaukee. Tonight or tomorrow night. Just to to feed your hunger. Or perhaps you’ll starve alone. Can you dig it? [/Cyrus voice]

In case you missed it, in all that gobbledygook above, it’s Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia time. We’re starting the week at Company Brewing tonight. Nick keeps telling me he’s going to have some kind of guest a appearance. I’m not sure what he’s talking about and can only assume it’s going to be him, with the hide of any beast he killed over the weekend draped over his shoulders, screaming, “I’m a whitetail! I’m a whitetail!” and shaking his butt. Nick is a weird dude.

If you’re in it to win it tonight I suggest covering hot topics like the Minnesota Wild, the Modern Library’s list of 100 greatest novels of the 20th century, and. Maybe Madison is lucky not having to deal with this line up. But if you’re in Milwaukee, get to Company Brewing tonight. The show starts at 7pm. See you there.


The Legend of Week 46

We have got our work cut out for us tonight, Madison. Not only do we have to top the CoBrew CrowSour show from Monday night, we also need to top what must have been an insane-o evening at the Up & Under.

Sure you had your regulars dominating. Shiva Conglomeration, Trivia Newton John and Who Pooped in the Pool taking the top three spots. (Can you guys imagine how thrilled Who Pooped in the Pool must have been to not finish last? Honestly, the players on that team may mark down November 13 as important as 9-11, or April 14, the day the remains of Laika burned upon the retry of Sputnik II into Earth’s atmosphere.)

There were a few newer teams rolling around. Dr Terrorhammer and the Battletoads put up a good fight with 56 points and The Stallions tracked 46. Then there was Bomb Pussy who scratched together 19, but still topped Zorn’s Dilemma who walked out after scoring seven in the first three categories.

So now it’s all on Madison. Who’s going to show up. Will Gail/Gayle/Gale/Ga-el be there? What about a full contingent of TV Dogs? Will Zack return just to talk about basketball podcasts with me?

We’ll find out the answers to these questions and at least 50 more tonight, at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia. I’ll ask the questions, Jake will sling drinks and Emmett, aka Youngblud, will be hustling pizza and calzones like carbs are going out of style. All you need to do is be in the basement of Glass Nickel Pizza at 7pm. See you there.


We Can’t Crowd-Source All The Time

It bums me out that I can’t be at the Company Brewing shows. Not because I think they’re better. Trust me, Madison is still the number one trivia show in the Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia empire, based on a survey of Madison trivia hosts. But it would be cool to see the people who come up with names like Akira Kurosawazzup.

Sure, they only scored 70 points and sputtered out in second place, but that name is #1 in my book of team names. I keep that book right here on my desk. It’s titled Dope Ass Team Names That You Simps Can’t Even Fuck With. It’s probably a NYT #1 Bestseller. They were bested by S&M&Ms. Another fine name, but one we’ve seen before. Best Simpsons Cameo Ever nabbed the third place spot with 60 points and Scrambled Eggs put 55 points in the spreadsheet.

Yo, Soy Team Names are Hard scored 54 and 3 Guys on a Fact Hunt ended the night with 48. When Life Gives You Cthululemons You Make Cthululemonade had more letters in their team name than they did points at the end of the night. And, as any fan of 2000s Minneapolis indie rap will tell you, When Life Gives you Cthululemons, Paint That Shit Gold.

There’s a Tunnelsnake in my Boot ended the night with 45 points. Which is last place and exactly where Tunnelsnakes belong.

Tonight we move the show down to Brady Street at the Up & Under. Lewis, a man who refuses to concede and is demanding every vote be counted in his run for A Real Freaky-Deaky, is going to be tossing out 50 questions on hot topics such as Scientology, Cocktails and Even More Talk About Mascots.

And since none of the CoBrew teams have seen these questions, they could slide on down, and double up on trivia this week. If they choose to do so, all they have to do is be there at 7pm. See you there.


CoBrew CrowSour

Listen, I’ve done just about everything I can to drive people away from Trivia. Two weeks ago, I made 25-30 people sit in a basement and listen to an improvised musical about the cast of Dawson’s Creek, recorded by people who are certainly not professional musicians.

Yeah, people hated it. Yeah, Kirsti messaged me in the middle of the show, a flagrant violation of Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia rules, asking me to change the music. And sure, Janet hasn’t been back since. But I don’t regret it. And I’m certainly not going to mutter a half-hearted, “I’m sorry”.

Then, last week I forced not just the Madison show, but all venues into a complete Edmund Fitzgerald fiasco. Again, no regrets and I’m certainly not going to apologize for giving you all the most exciting evenings of your lives since the day you collectively discovered MDMA.

I can’t even feel guilty about any of it, because tonight the Company Brewing crew has a crowd-sourced show. I’ve seen what you do during these crowd-sourced shows. Three rounds of serial killers, two rounds on The Simpsons, and The Oeuvre of the Gin Blossoms–all in Bamboo Harvester of Sorrow format. And then Tunnelsnakes break out something like Whose Historically Important Portrait Have We Drawn A Dick/Boobs/Mustache On (actually a very solid art history category).

So I’m not apologizing for any of it. Y’all are the real monsters. That said, if you’re playing at Company Brewing tonight and you haven’t submitted your crowd-sourced questions, now is the time to do so. Shoot them over to Nick nick@wisconsinshardesttrivia.com or drop to me here and I’ll be sure he gets them. Then get you and your team over to Company Brewing in Riverwest for the most fun you could possibly have at a trivia show. It starts at 7pm. See you there.

Election Day

Did you guys all go vote yet? Do it. It’s a great day to do so.

I can’t help but think Nick is still out of breath after that League Finale last night at Company Brewing. Some of it went down as expected, but there were also a couple teams hoping to mix it up.

You take a team like Pest Pile o’ Prizes On a Pable Pever or TEEB NABE or even Seppuku Hand Luke, they are only here to drinks some beers and show off their team name. And guess what, we’re almost out of beers. Needless to say they were not the league champions.

Then you’ve got my favorite team name on the evening, Yo, Soy Team Names Are Hard. Listen, my espanol is not what you would call ¡GREAT!, but as a tofu lover, I understand the difficulty of coming up with a solid soy-based team name. Right by them, it was Los Tunnelsnakes, who said they were out for blood. Given the demeanor of this team, and that Kate P once threatened Nick with a box cutter, it was concerning. Turns out they we’re all just getting in on some sort of Huckleberry Sawyer blood pact. Totally harmless. Neither of these teams won.  

In the winner’s circle it was Cthulhulemon grabbing third. S&M&Ms nabbing second and way out in front of the league standings it was The Evil League of Evil. Remember this, players. These are the team you need to be willing to destroy when the next league starts.

Now, tonight, once you’ve hit up the voting booth, you need to slide down to Brady Street and park it at Up & Under. I’ve heard that if you show Andy your “I Voted” Sticker he’ll give you a complimentary, “Nice.” Who knows, maybe even a fist bump. Once you’re all settled in, you can expect 50 of the best trivia questions about the Edmund Fitzgerald you’ve ever heard. Each inquiry coming from the sweet pipes of Lewis, a man who continues to stand behind the democratic process even though he claims “votes were clearly tampered with” regarding his America’s Got Talent audition during which he performed a Limp Bizkit medley of his own arrangement.

The show starts at  7pm. Go vote and then we’ll see you there.


Big Things in Week 45

What a week for trivia.

First and foremost, here’s a big reminder to everyone that you really should take some time to go vote tomorrow. Don’t be a chump. Go do it.

Then we have to address the league finale that is going down right tonight at CoBrew. Will there be sabotage, trickery and subterfuge? I would like to think not. But those Tunnelsnakes. They are slick MFers who will do whatever it takes to win. So all you other teams, Chthululemon, The Evil League of Evil, S&M&Ms, all the teams looking for a win tonight, watch your backs. Maybe even watch your throats, I heard Kate P carries a knife and knows how to use it.

Lastly, check your calendars. Once again note that tomorrow is election day. But then slide up to November 10 and think back a mere 43 years and to a place we call Lake Superior. The day the gales came early and the crown jewel of the Great Lakes Shipping Industrial Complex was lost.

If you still don’t know, I’m talking about the Edmund Fitzgerald. In honor of that fateful day we’ve got a full pot of Eddy Fitz and Eddy Fitz-adjacent questions. Will we be talking about the ship itself? Of course. Will we be talking about the Great Lakes? You know it. Will we be talking about other Fitzgeralds and some unrelated stuff? Yes, because making 50 questions about one ore boat that sank nearly a half-century ago is really, really hard to do.

So get your team together, or if you think you’ve got your shit figured out, play solo. The key is to be at Company Brewing in Riverwest tonight. Nick has spent the morning running through his vocal exercises, repeating “I think we need a unique New York” over and over. He’s ready to toss out 50 questions with the fury of an angry inland sea. All you need to do is grab a few drinks and be ready to fight for that league championship. The show starts at 7pm. See you there.


It Was Caffeine Pills

Dry your eyes, Madison. I know the first of November can be rough. You’re packing away your
Novak Djokovic or Brit Marling in the film Sound of my Voice costume. You’re squeezing a couple of the remaining mini-packs of Swedish Fish you were handing out to trickertreaters, wondering if they can last one more year. And, if you’re really ambitious you’re already working on your rustic Thistle n’ Gristle thanksgiving stuffing recipe.
Before you get too deep into feasting season, don’t forget there is a killer round of trivia waiting for you at Glass Nickel Pizza tonight. I’m not going to claim it’s the best round of trivia ever or the trivia to end all triviums, but this will definitely be a very special trivia. One you don’t want to miss.
I would put it on par with the episode of Saved By The Bell where Jessie get fired up on surburban speed and dances, setting up what I can only assume was the prequel to the 1995 teen favorite, Showgirls. But instead of seeing the speed episode as a child like everyone else did, imagine you’re in your last semester of college, just laying on the couch in your apartment, dipping in and out depressive states and for some reason watching SBTB. And you see Jessie with, frankly, A TON of energy and think, “Fuck, I could use some of that.”
That’s the level we’re running at tonight.
So if you’ve been looking at trivia posts thinking, “Fuck, I could use some of that” or you simply want a reason to get out tonight, Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia is here for you. We’ll be at Glass Nickel Pizza Co. As always it will be in the basement, and the show starts at 7pm.
See you there.

Week 44 Is Upon Us


Milwaukee is back on some sports wave hype right now, with the Bucks flexing a 6-0 start. But so are the Toronto Raptors, and tonight those two teams meet. One team is slipping to 6-1.

So hear me out Milwaukeeans, protect your precious little sports hearts a bit. We all saw what happened with the Brewers. Maybe put your guard up. Build a little emotional wall. Build that wall of out Trivia.

You might be laughing at this idea, but ask anyone close to me and they will tell you trivia is an exceptional emotional wall. I don’t even allow my own daughter to talk to me unless she phrases everything as a Bamboo Harvester of Sorrow (Dådo, I’m hungry. May I have a Bananarama’s hit 1984 single Cruel Summer). I’m not going to say it’s a quiet house, our conversations are considered.

I also understand that a fair number of you don’t care about the Bucks. I once mentioned them to my friend Tali and she was utterly confused. She had lived 25 years on this planet, unaware that such a team even existed. But that’s not important when it comes to the next part.

Whether you’re a sports fan or not, you’re going to want to brush up on hot topics like the Moon, not the 2009 Sam Rockwell sci-fi thriller, but the actual thing in the night sky that controls the tides and werewolves. We’ll also be discussing the Sister Act franchise and Mascots.

Now that we’ve sold you on the product, lets get you into some option packages. You’re going to want to get as many as five other players to join your team. Then you’re going to wrangle all these players to Company Brewing in Riverwest tonight. Order some food, order some drinks, listen to Nick blow minds with banger 50 questions. You’re not guaranteed to win, but someone has to.

The show starts at 7pm. See you there.


Week 43 Madison Recap

Sure, a couple pics of Gritty appeared in last night’s show, but I didn’t think that would be enough to set the place ablaze with the flames of chaos. Yet that’s exactly what happened.

Tensions were high all night. There was constant booing from the the back of the room, which is normal. Even before the show started, there was a call for a moratorium on Serial Killer categories. Then there were the demands for more serial killer categories. Then there were the not-so-passive-aggressive comments like “You know there are more than just five serial killers”, which lead to, “Maybe society just needs more serial killers”.

That last one was weird because Janet said it, then looked at me and did that throat-cutting motion.

There was Gayle, or Gail, or Gale, or Gael, or however it goes, and and her crew made up of Ga-el, Red Hoodie Man, Fresh Cap, Sport Coat, Newbs in the Infinity Scarf, and that last guy. They’ve shown up two weeks in a row and had the audacity to call themselves The Regulars. I have no complaints about this team, and I commend them for tossing themselves into the shit without hesitation.

By the end of the night it was Clever Girl with 34 points. “Everyone Vote, Dammit” Says Janet had 41. The Spoony Bards had 42 and Dern slumped out with 47.

TV Dogs, The Regulars and Neal of Fortune all put 50 points on the board. To break the tie, NoF flexed their Whiffenpoofs knowledge and seized second place. The top spot went to Good Enough, scoring 54 points and giving them another worst-to-first victory. Then they flipped their table and burned the place to the ground.

All in all it was very exciting and I can’t wait to do it again next week.


Thursday, more like Shmursday


In the blink of an eye we’re back to Thursday. Why, it seemed like just last week Good Enough was doing well enough, Travis was confusing Current Events with Know your Cold Cuts and TV Dogs was doing their best to reclaim the top spot.

But that was days ago. Tonight we do it all over again. New questions, new winners and new losers. With food, drinks, probably some friends and maybe even a few laughs thrown in.

So, Madison, get your teams together and get yourself to Glass Nickel Pizza on Atwood and get ready for 50 questions of the hardest, and honestly the best, trivia Wisconsin has to offer. As always we’ll be in the basement and the show starts at 7pm. See you there.


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