Week 11 Follow Up

After back to back to back to back weeks of standing room only crowds in the Glass Nickel basement, last night reminded us that the universe is chaotic and just when you think you’ve got something great on your hands, half the teams won’t show up.

I think Stephen Hawking felt it was okay to shove off because he knew I was about to start dropping wisdom nuggs on you like the one right there. Damn.

On to the breakdown. Good Enough showed up last night. And then they just kept showing up until they had to break into two teams. That offshoot team was For Government Work and fittingly they didn’t do well. They closed out the night with 19 points.

From there it was slight jump up to 43 points, where we find the stalwarts Clever Girl. Fighting hard, like the deadly fierce snake, it was I Know Why The Spoony Bard Sings and their 47 points. Then it was Good Enough. You know this team. They’ve been Good Enough since the jump. They’re not some cut-rate team of late comers, hang-on-ers and flunkies. Shit, if they had a team twitter handle it would be @TheRealGoodEnough. No underscores, no numbers and like 18 blue checks. Official.

They scored 54 points.

Scoring 65 points and landing in third pace it was Laura Dern and the High Waisted Shorts. Second place went to Render Unto Caesar His  Drink Tickets, who put up 71 points. And Neal of Fortune took first, even without Alex and Gabe there to give them all the answers in the Missing Link-Supergroup category. Travis, Caitlin and Neal we’re doing their best to come up with the right answers, but Kathleen was talking something about “play Hard Rock Candy Mountain”. I had to tell her I only know noise rock and assumed she meant Lighting Bolt’s album Hypermagic Mountain, and like any white guy talking about music to a woman, I explained that she simply wasn’t ready for Lightning Bolt.

Anyway, we’re not friends anymore. See you next week.

It’s Up & Under Time

Rough morning in the Trivia world. I woke up to learn that the winning team at Company Brewing last night was named Unsolicited Nick Pixxx. And frankly I am disgusted. I prefer all of my Nick pics to be solicited. Why just the other day I dropped a pair of pants off for him. He told me to the fit perfectly, and my first response was, “DELIVER TO ME AN ELECTRONIC IMAGE OF THAT TUCHUS.”

Still waiting on that pic.

Gilmore Girls Gone Mild have tempered their expectations and ended in second place last night. Best Consistently Inconsistent Ever, a name that provides more questions than answers, grabbed third place. The Notorious P.A.T. took fourth, leaving fifth place for Hot Toddies and putting Tunnelsnakes in last place.

Tonight, we move the show down to Brady Street at the Up & Under. Legend has it the Up & Under has a relatively new bartender from Dallas. If she’s working maybe she’ll sling a couple beers your way. If she isn’t, I’m sure someone else will.

Apart from drinks you’ll also be presented 50 questions by none other that Lewis, a man who in the heat of the moment at his son’s recent birthday party grabbed his own mother by the face and said, “Get your shit together and decide if you’re a canapé or a cannotapé”. This is the kind of host we’re dealing with.

All you need to do is grab your team and get to the Up & Under by 7pm. See you there.

Tunnelsnakes Origin Story

While the rest of the world is stumbling into their cubicles and squeaky chairs, or maybe just barely awake enough to start that next 40, working for the city, there is a certain faction of people in Milwaukee who look forward to a Monday.

Sure, they have to get through the ho-hum-hum-drum that is life for a few hours. But before they know it they’re sliding into a table at Company Brewing, tipping back a few pints of Riverwest’s finest and letting Nick make them feel like maybe this is their week for success.

And who knows, this week could be any team’s week. I mean, obviously it’s not Das Tunnelsnakes’ week. It never is. But maybe Scrambled Eggs can go for a back-to-back win. Or maybe Killer can slaughter their way to the top spot. Honestly, it could be anyone. Except for Tunnelsnakes, they are not made for this trivia world. Imagine god was creating people out of clay, or however that worked. It was late on Monday and he had just finished Tunnelsnakes and he was about to breath-of-life them. But he glanced at the clock, realized he was late for Diety Trivia and had to split. He slammed the door on his way out, and did it hard enough that it shook down a glass Kutkh (The Siberian Raven god) had on their desk, spilling chewing tobacco spit over the clay Tunnelsnakes and, in a way, giving them life. Is it a life? Technically, I guess.

So, excluding Tunnelsnakes any team could take the tap spot tonight. Of course, they will be a lot better off if they know a few thing about a few things. Like the Metric System, for example. And maybe Snakes and The Dwayne Johnson Rock. Of course you’ll also need to get to Company Brewing in time to get a seat.

The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

A Classic Capital City Standoff

Madison, I think we’re really ready for the Trivia show happening tonight. I mean, last week we really went through some mucky-muck together. Nearly 50 people packed in the basement of Glass Nickel Pizza, a new server working the floor, 49 subpar questions, and a tie at 100 points.

That’s right Milwaukee, these MFers over here put 100 points on the board… TWICE! So I had to toss out a tie breaker question (only because we didn’t have the space for feats of strength), “How many UN-recognized countries are in Africa?”

Neal of Fortune comes at me with a bonkers answer of 40. Like they have never once looked at a map of Africa, or watched the Ewan McGregor and Charley Boorman documentary series Long Way Down. You really said 40? Only 40?

And I was pulling for NOF. They’re good people. They draw 95% of our illustrations. I once played grocery store trivia with these fools. And they come at me 40 United Nations-recognized countries in Africa. Unbelievable really. Look at a map, you’ve got “one, two, three…” and once you’ve reached 54 you’re done. You don’t stop at 40. But they did.

I reluctantly checked in with the other half of the tied score, Team Drink Tickets. Side note, this team have been winning throughout the league by merely out drink-ticketing everyone else by a factor of 50. Each night they add 500 drink tickets to their single-digit score and walk away with the win. It’s a flawed system, I know. I’m working on it. But they’re good people, they consume 95% of the drinks served during trivia. I’ve played shuffleboard and once went camping with some of these fools. And they came out with 39.  

They said it with conviction, too.

We’ll see how it all goes down this evening. If you want to get involved, all you have to do is get to Glass Nickel Pizza on Atwood. As always, there will be plenty of pizza available, we can all share whatever is left of the beer Team Drink Tickets doesn’t consume, and 10 rounds of the best trivia in the city. All you have to do is be there tonight. The show starts at 7pm.

See you then.

Nothing But the Hits

I hope all you trivia players out there have your Einstein-Rosen Bridge suits on, because it’s time for another round of Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Classics at Tracks Tavern. It also means it’s time for me to mix a few metaphors and analogies. Without wasting too much time let’s have Celebrity Guest Host Andy Berg be our Ford Prefect as we step into The DeLorean, hot box this beast and push it up to 88 miles per hour.

The next question is, how far back will we go? Will we find ourselves on this date in 2016, when one Peyton Manning announced his retirement from professional football to focus on collecting advertising money? Or perhaps we’ll find ourselves in a world 65 million years ago, where we’ll see dinosaurs roaming wild and fundamentalist christians’ heads exploding.

I’m not sure where we’ll end up, that’s on Andy to decide. Regardless of from when he pulls this week’s Classics show, you know it will be top-to-bottom bangers. And If you’re looking for even more reasons to play tonight, might you consider the beer list and the food menu at Tracks. Both are solid gold. So get your crew together and get to Tracks Tavern at the corner of Humboldt and Locust tonight. The Show starts at 7pm. See you there.

Company Brewing is back, baby!


It’s March. It’s Monday. And those two facts combined mean that we are back in action at Company Brewing. Your main man Nicky B has been been travelling the country in search of the finest trivia questions in the land.

That’s right. From sea to sea he ventured. Coming across tidbits of all-american trivia like, “You know, pretty much the entire Embarcadero built is on fill soil and old boats”, from folks in San Francisco. In Lebenon, Kansas a farmer told him “Right here, this is the gee-o-graphical center of the contiguous USA. Of course, politically we’re nowhere near the center. I’m talking far right. I write in Charles Lindberg for president in every election. Just like my old man did. And his old man did. That Lindy sure can fly a plane.” And in Boston he learned the Bunker Hill Memorial is actually on Breed’s Hill. He also learned that even today Bostonians are quick to punch you in the lip when you tell them “A: That’s dumb as hell. B: It’s a crap monument anyway. C: You guys really haven’t done shit since the whole Paul Revere ride, have you?”

I think it was that last part that got him punched. Or maybe it was when he was pretending to blow a recorder and singing that awful Dropkick Murphys’ song, and after establishing the song to the angry Bostonian onlookers he started making jerk-off motions.

If you’re not sure what Dropkick Murphys’ song I’m talking about, just Bing that shit and I promise you it’s the first Dropkick Murphys’ song that comes up. No one is out here listening to Pipebomb on Lansdowne, or Heroes From Our Past, or the entire Ska, Core, The Devil and More album.

Anyway, if you’re hoping to find out what kind of show you’re in for tonight, I suggest brushing up on the Academy Awards Show from last night, the tasty world of Mother Sauces, and Funguses or fungi.

Then once you’ve got that covered, get your team together and get to Company Brewing in Riverwest. Of course there will be plenty of food and drinks. The show starts at 7pm.

See you there.

Week Eight Recap

It would be nice to be here this morning talking about what a great trivia show we had last night. Sadly, I cannot do that.

What happened last night wasn’t trivia, that was a mess. It started out nicely, Pabst Smear a new team showed up, blasted through the first round and looked like they were on their way to a solid win. Perhaps this is when the wheels fell off. It’s hard for me to identify the exact moment. All I know is Pabst Smear was in the lead then we hit the Super Cars category and it all went in the trash.

Bard & Order: Spoony Victims Unit, for example. I think it was around round four when they stopped answering questions and started drawing pictures of Calvin, of Calvin & Hobbes fame, peeing on the Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia logo. By round ten, the images were of Calvin, of Calvin & Hobbes fame, sitting at an old desktop PC making donations to ISIS-associated groups with the Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia credit card. If only their impressive artsmanship could offset the fact they ended the night in last place with 52 points.

Just ahead of the them, it was Pabst Smear who at one point I made go head-to-head in a tiebreaker for third place. Here’s what’s hilarious about that–they were nowhere near third place and still won the Antiques Roadshow bonus question. They ended the night with some points and almost last place.

Then it was Neal of Fortune, who made the mistake of letting Alex do the writing last night. I think  the extra weight she now has on her fingers was forcing her to write a bunch of incorrect answers. What I’m getting at here is Alex and Gabe, who met at trivia got engaged recently. I’m super happy for them, but I also get concerned when I think about the upcoming argument over if my roll will be as best man or maid of honor.

Good Enough somehow slipped in a seventh player last night, which only added to the scoring clusterfuck and they then nabbed third place. Second place went to Clever Girl, who totally would have won if not for drink tickets. And speaking of Team Drink Tickets, they dropped another 16 bonus points and took home first place.

I’m pretty sure they are going to run the tables on this league solely on drink tickets. This is an amazing and troubling feat.

Anyway, it all starts over next week. It will be better. I promise.

The Year Was 2013…

For this week’s installment of Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Classics we take you all the way back to December 2013. The best selling book was The New Testament by the mononymous Jesus. The Model T–the horseless carriage–was rolling off assembly lines in Detroit by the dozens and families were gathered around Guglielmo Marconi’s invention the radio, which was now being used to stream Podcasts. They were probably listening to WTF, or the Nerdist, or one of those other podcast that you couldn’t hear in color.

That was also a great time for trivia. The questions were top notch, but the answers we even better. Just picture it, quickly scrawled responses like Lascaux Cave, Black Tar Heroin and Not Canadian. Good times indeed.

And tonight you can relive it all. Period correct attire is suggested. That means slim, but not skinny, jeans for men and maybe a hoodie or a button-down shirt. For the women, consider skinny, but not slouchy (we hadn’t yet reached the boyfriend cut era), jeans and perhaps a pullover or a button-up shirt.

Once you’ve got your costume on, get your team together and get yourselves to Tracks Tavern at the corner of Humboldt and Locust. I’ve heard the crew at Tracks has even put together a period correct menu with several types of burger, a pulled pork sandwich, fancy fries, something called cheese curds and even chili cheese poutine. Of course, there will be plenty of drinks to go around and most importantly 50 questions will be coming at you from Celebrity Guest Host Andy Berg.

Essentially this is like when a club has an all Katy Perry night, or when Hootie and Los Blowfish plays at the county fair. If this sounds like your bag, I suggest getting to The Tracks tonight. The show starts at 7pm. See you then.

The Up & Under League Rolls On

Oooooo Boy, Trivia for this week is set. The questions are in, the answers are nearly thoroughly researched and the shows are ready to go.

That means, you’re up Milwaukee. Tonight at the Up & Under you’re going to want to get down with Lewis, fresh off his fourth place finish in the skeleton competition at Pyeongchang where his speed suit ripped open exposing his nipple, which then contacted the ice at a casual 80mph, tearing the skin away and exposing his robot heart.

I only say that because there is no way Lewis has a human heart. And I only say that because he has asked that I specifically reveal none of the categories for this week’s shows until after the the U&U match. That is 100 percent robot behavior.

Without categories to reveal, the best I can offer is a run down of the team rankings in the U&U league. The Sheep Rustlers are bringing up the rear, naturally, with one league point, while Who Pooped in the Pool and Whispering Goat Whore are at five and six respectively. There seems to be a barnyard animal theme happening in the lower ranks at this show, which I cannot explain. Also, The Brady Bunch has a solid sixer.

Tunnelsnakes at sitting at seven league points. While Trump/Pence 2016 with their rubbish name are at nine. Moving on to the double-digit scorers, we’ve got Shiva Kamini at 10 and There’s Something About Mary Queen of Scots with 13. Finally, we have Trivia Newton John in a commanding lead with 20 points.

I wish all of the teams good luck tonight. Its seems like you might need it. Then again, everyone is going in blind, so at least the playing field is level.

Of course, anyone and everyone is welcome to join the show tonight. All you have to do is get a team together, or come solo, and get ready to handle 50 questions and a couple cocktails. The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

Jeopardy Doubles

I was going to start by saying it’s the Madison teams’ time to shine, but we’ve got bigger fish to fry (Lent jokes for all you cafflicks). I mean sure we could talk about how Drink Tickles did break the 100-point mark last week, or how Clementines showed up from out of nowhere and nabbed third place while playing under the name It’s Been a Minute. I wasn’t fooled by fake moustache/nose/glasses combo, Clementines. We could even talk about how Laura Dern and the Low Rise Jeans are currently on top of the league, but we’re only two weeks deep so I’m sure that will slide.

What are are talking about is Trivia Mercenary. That’s right! Dom, the only player to win while playing solo in Madison was on Jeopardy last Monday. I could have been more on my game and alerted everyone beforehand, but c’mon how is your daily 30 with Alex T not a standard. The only excuse I find acceptable is that this is the second trivia player from the Glass Nickel shows to be on Jeopardy this month. It’s almost cliche by now.

Anyway, Dom gets on national TV and doesn’t plug Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia at all, which I understand. But he did reveal that he was the Skip of the University of Oklahoma curling team–the only curling team south of like, Manitoba State University. That is a solid-ass CV point. The dude probably doesn’t even fuck with a resume. He just submits a picture of himself wearing the ornamental robes of a proper skip in Sooners colors, and then another of him wearing his letterman’s jacket playing chess with Anita Hill, Olivia Munn and the ghost of Slim Richey. Sooners for life!

So, if you want to match wits against as many as three former Jeopardy players, or maybe even some Clementines, I suggest you get to Glass Nickel Pizza on Atwood tonight. Jake will  artisanally pour you a few beers, Simon will pizzeria-style deliver you some pizza or maybe a calzone, and I will devolve into drunkeness as I fire off 50 questions.

If this sounds like your scene, I suggest finding us in the basement. The show starts at 7pm. See you then.     

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