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In the future, Philosophy of Trivia classes at I assume someplace like Carlton or Middlebury,  will probably ask, “Did trivia really happen if it wasn’t talked about on social media?”

Well, trust me it happened last Thursday at Glass Nickel and it happened last night at Company Brewing.

Last night’s 30-minute-later-than-normal start time was no big deal. Nick can roll with that. And regarding last Thursday’s tie for first and second as well as third and fourth, that should have been easy-peasy too. But I fucked it up. I’m the one who asked a tie breaker question about a certain concentration camp.

This is where you’re probably saying, “WTFUCK were you thinking, dog?” And you’re right to ask that. In the end what we need to accept is that a lot of people died in concentration camps and that we should all try to avoid using pejorative terms when talking about the Romani.

That said, Moony and Nerl of Fortune tied with both teams one point short of 69. Moony won the tie breaker. #1 Cat in America and Clever Girl both put up 62 points with Numero Uno Gato winning the tie breaker. The Bards of Spoony Junction put up 60 for 5th place, ahead of Good Enough who had 53, which was more than enough to beat Boat-N-Hoes formerly Penis Posse formerly Pussy Posse and formerly Lady Posse who put up 45 points.

Now, on to last night where Titty Roosevelt nabbed 76 points for first place and a commanding rank in the league. Then it was There’s Something About Queen Mary’s Diamond Bandeau Tiara and Tunnelsnakes both scoring 72 points and putting their league scores at 33 and 34 respectively. That probably has Nick sweating the finals a little bit. Scrambled Eggs landed in fourth with 65 points.

TEEB NABE closed out their night with 58 points, ahead of The Sharpest Tools at 55 and My Burps Smell Like Wet Metal at 47. Ready to Retire put up 41 points and South Side scratched together the 33 points needs to bring up the rear.

Tonight we move on to the Up & Under where Lewis, who insists Prague Rock is better than Prog Rock even though everyone knows all Prague Rock just wants to be Budapest Rock, will be rapid firing 50 questions to all the players. If you want to get involved, simply be at the Up & Under on Brady Street tonight.

The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

 

Walk, Don’t Run

 

Tonight’s Company Brewing show is being pushed back to 7:30 to accommodate a private party. Imagine all of the things you can do with that extra 30 minutes:

  • Read the news (we do current events every week; you have to catch on eventually)
  • Catch one more episode of The Wonder Years
  • Prepare more cover song playlist ideas
  • Pre-game at Polish Falcon
  • Taco dip
  • Catch up on the Royal Wedding thinkpieces you have bookmarked
  • Keep asking Greg for this week’s hints
  • List and rank the many works of Drew Barrymore

In the Belly of the Beast, Wherein the Beast is Trivia Week 20

What up mid-weekers? Y’all looking for an update on some shit?

Well, I have some great news. The update is here. Let’s start with Company Brewing. TEEM NABE cobbled together 35 points like Dan D. Lewis making loafers between the takes on the set of some other slog that will put people to sleep. Best Last Place Ever earned 43 points and proved to the whole bar that there name is a fallacy. Scrambled Eggs put up 61 points and Das Tunnelsnakes ended the night with 75 points. The Sharpest Tools and Titty Roosevelt tied at 77 points and There’s Something About Merrimac and Beautiful Lake Attitash grabbed the win with 84.

Then, at Up & Under The stalwarts were in the house. Who Pooped In The Pool staked their claim with 48 points, but were just topped by A Team Has No Name at 50 points. Trivia Newton John put up 70 points, which left the top spot open for Shiva Conglomeration who scored a solid 82.

That means only the Madison show remains this week. Word on the street #1 Cat in America aka The Norse Force aka Scar-T and the PhD is going to make an appearance, but I’ll believe that when I see. And if I see it, it will be tomorrow night at Glass Nickel Pizza.

See you there!

What up with that league over there, my man?

I’m getting a lot of questions at the Madison shows about when we’re starting the summer league. And every time I have to tell them, “Patience, players.”

First off, it’s not even summer outside yet. We’re still over here fucking about with 6 straight days of rain and temps somewhere between freezing and a moist 80. I’m out here mowing my dandelion field of a lawn while wearing period matching HBC blanket coat and beaver pelt hat. Plus, summer doesn’t really start until like June 31st. Plus, I still owe Neal of Fortune their prizes from the last league ( and like 3 times ago). And the biggest plus is the teams at Company Brewing in Milwaukee are currently in the throes of a league.

I can’t tell you who’s winning in that league because I haven’t checked. I assume it’s Inclusive Wankers, or Theirs Something About Merrimac and Beautiful Lake Attitash, or Best Best Buy By a Best Western Ever, or really any team. I just hope it’s not Das Funnelcakes.

That said, any team could walk into tonight’s show, perform a little trivia jujitsu on Nick and walk out winners. They could do that while drinking a couple pints of Company Brewing’s finest ales or lagers. They could even do that while eating some of the Company Brewing kitchen’s finest appetizers or entrees. All they would have to do is show up at Company Brewing in Riverwest, tonight, get a solid team together and know a little bit about things like Official State Animals, Napoleon and Nursery Rhymes.

The show starts at 7pm. See you there.  

 

A Correction

Attention Madison trivia players, I owe you all an apology. Last week, during the Bamboo Harvester of Sorrows of Young Werther category I mentioned the historical inaccuracy of Melton Wool being worn by soldiers in the civil war.

I posited Melton Wool wasn’t developed until the late 19th century, and during the Civil War era, US woolen mills were not suited for producing the fabric on a scale large enough to meet the needs of the Union forces, or those treasonous confederates who strode into battle fueled by privilege and hatred.

In reality, Melton cloth dates back hundreds of years and was developed in Melton Mowbray in England, not Melt’s Woolery and Rap Emporium—Squirrel Hill’s home for fat beats and stylish pleats since 1861– in Pittsburgh.\

I can only assume I was confusing all of the history of woven wool cloth in the the United States with that of the Woolrich Company of Pennsylvania, who truly found fame in the late 1890s by introducing a wool twill vest with, brace yourselves, several pockets.

Certainly this is more pockets than the Union soldiers were accustomed to. And as for the traitorous rebels, they carried nothing but the empty promises of the rich, protoligarchs and soon-to-be klansmen who funded the unjust and immoral succession of the southern states. Thus, not needing pockets.

I hope by addressing this inaccuracy trivia can move forward and be as entertaining as ever. If you can look past this blemish on the face of Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia, I ask you to join me tonight at Glass Nickel Pizza for food, drinks, prizes and 50 questions that at least seem factual.

The show starts at 7pm. See you then.

Crowdsourced to Death

I’m glad last night’s trivia sesh at Glass Nickel Pizza was a solid one. I needed that, and I suspect some of the players did as well, as we rolled into today–one of the most annoying days of the year. The day when aspiring nerds and plush scifis all crawl out from whatever basement they dwell to say, “May the fourth be with you”.

Too many people said it on sōsh meeds. My own brother texted it to me. Even our super cool governor said it. He also said we need more border walls, so do you really want to be in his crew?

Now, we’re all educated-ish people here. We know the proper way to write a date is May 4 (pronounced May Four) or the Fourth of May. There is no May the Fourth or even May Fourth. Remember how a decade ago we all decided to stop saying “That’s what she said”? Maybe we could do that with all this Star Wars trash as well.

Whatever, I’m the dude out there getting wild drunk on June 16th wishing everyone a happy Bloomsday like I can even deal with Ulysses.  

Anyway, we wrapped up the crowd-sourced season last night with about 500 Bamboo Harvester of sorrow questions. In the end Good Enough had 53 points, TV Dogs got humbled with 59 and The Spoony Bards and the Bees fell one short of 69.

Third place went to Lorna Doon and the Fabulous Front Butts, who earned 78 points. Laura Dern and High-Waisted Skorts put up 81 for second place. And capturing first place with 87 points, it was Neal of Fortune.

This is good as it means Alex won her first week back from getting her bionic arm AND Caitlin won her last week at trivia. FOr those who don’t know Caitlin has supplied 90% of the sketches we’ve used over the last several years. Now she’s off to get archival in Minneapolis. I hope she can find a good, but not too good, trivia show up there.

Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia is back at it next week. If you want to start drawing pics, please sharpen those pencils and start sketching away.

 

Like George Micheal Said, Lets Give it One More Try

There was a time when a crowd-sourced show would have us dealing with five or six team-made Bamboo Harvester categories. And maybe like one category about Chickens of the American South, or whatever. Halcyon days for sure.

Kjersti Says Jeremy is the Worst brought us Name That Foreign Body, a category of x-rays featuring things people have put in their bodies. This brought up the discussion on how you might get the 3.5mm jack end of ear buds up a urethra, and is that a large penis. Still conversation counts for nothing and they ended the night with 40 points. They were topped by Good Enough, who submitted no category, are clearly not big Janelle Monáe fans, and scored 45 points.

Clever Girl also forgot to submit a category but still cobbled together 56 points. They fell just short of Ain’t No Bardy Like a Spoony Bards Bardy who gave us the Famous Jakes category and scored 57 points.

Laura Dern and the Low-Slung Sofas came in hot with a US Geographical High Points category, and walked out with 67 points. They tied with TV DOGS who gave us a much maligned Soccer category. But it was Neal of Fortune, with their Bamboo Harvester of Sorrows of Young Werther questions who nabbed the top spot with 80 points.

Perhaps the craziest part of the last week’s crowd-sourced show was that team submitted enough questions to do this one more time. So tonight we’re back at. If you’ve got your questions in, thank you. If you’re sending them soon, please hurry. Or if you’re submitting nothing and just want to see what makes your fellow players tick, I suggest being at Glass Nickel Pizza tonight.

We’ll be the raucous crowd in the basement, and as always the show starts at 7pm.

May Day

Welcome to May Day, players. I hope you’re all walking in a little late. Perhaps you’re going to cut out early, or maybe that lunch hour is going to run into the multiples. Whatever you’re doing today I hope you’re sticking it to the fat cats. Here at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia, we are the fat cats. Very, very thin fat cats, but the bosses nonetheless. As a personal act of rebellion, I’m drinking three cups of coffee before tossing this post up. SUCK IT, NICK. I’m not sure how each of you out there showing your worth, but please do get out there and do it.

All that said, I hope Reclusive Wankers are taking the day off because those MFers put in work at Company Brewing last night. 99 points and the win? That’s not bad. In fact, that’s pretty good. Their nearest competitors were Titty Roosevelt, who pressed ‘em on the glass for 86 point. Das Tunnelsnakes somehow nabbed third place with 47 points. That’s a real steep drop off Das Ts. Real steep.

Behind them, it was There is Something About Merde, who decided to flex some Rosetta Stone awareness and put up 46 points. Best Return of 100 Ever put 37 on the board. They were trailed by The Sharpest Tools who had 34, Zack Attack who had 16 and Bi-Fast Bi-Furious who called it a night with 14 points.

Tonight, we take the show to Up & Under on Brady Street. Now you might be questioning our allegiances if we’ve got Lewis, the man who is leading the campaign for 55-minute smoke breaks every hour, putting on a show tonight. But don’t worry, the show starts after five, so it’s technically the next business day.

To be more accurate, the show starts at 7pm. See you then.

Today’s image come from instagram account of @BlackLodges aka Steven Vogel. His art is great and he’s certainly worth a follow.

Birds and Bees and Films

Ahhh yes! We are back for another week.

And like every week, we’re letting Nick kick it off with some hot league action at Company Brewing. And tonight that consists of 2005: The Year in Film, the Birds and the Bees.

Now, before you get all excited about it finally being spring–it finally being warm–thinking we have a category about making some love, notice those are 2 separate categories Bees and Birds. We’re talking about nature. Not intimate relations.

I can’t even believe your mind went there. In my experience Trivia almost certainly does not lead to anyone getting down. Not once has someone said to me, “OOOO that category on famous horses got me hand fanning” or “WTF? More like DTF.”

In fact, if you go back to my earliest days of pub trivia, it’s always been that way. Imagine an underage Greggers, sliding into bars on a fake ID, not only to get drunk in the way that is specific to a young man who is on college hiatus, but to also play some trivia. It’s summertime in South Carolina, the humidity is high, tanks tops and short shorts were trending hard, and there I was with a foxy young partner from Boston looking shake loose those catholic roots. I lean over, my breath was as heavy as Charleston air, but sweet scent of yellow jasmine had been replaced with the stink of Parliaments Whites, “Hey Mama, you wanna sneak into the Horse & Cart with us, drink some $1 sketch cocktails and play some trivia.”

And her response was straight forward. “No, you guys are assholes when you’re playing trivia.”

I just assume that is how everyone feels about everyone at pub trivia. I would never recommend it as part of a romantic evening out.

Anyway, Birds, Bees and Films of 2005 going down tonight at Company Brewing. All you have to do is be there 7pm.

See you then.

 

Crowd S-S-S-Sourcing Sourcing

Last night, while I was waiting for the last of the crowd-sourced categories to roll in, I opted to watch some broadcast television. Specifically, I watched a sitcom based on a podcast. This wasn’t my first choice of ways to spend a Wednesday night. I was going to waste time reading reviews of the Sleep album The Sciences and J Cole’s KOD. But then I realized I don’t even care to read a record review. Both albums are great and worth listening too and thus I thought watching a sitcom about podcasts would be better.

NOPE.

Everything about Alex, Inc. is dumb and I very much look forward to writing multiple trivia categories about it without ever watching another episode.

Anyway, the crowd sourced categories are in and it’s going to be a bruiser. I like that each team sat down, cracked their collective knuckles and said, “Let’s fuck up these other players.” For real, I’m suspecting high scores in the single digits.

And there is still room a couple more player-penned categories. Where’s TV DOGS on this? What about Good Enough? Clever Girl? These teams are going to need submit something to compete tonight.

Then again, anyone could walk in, bang down 50 correct answers and walk out a champion, never to be seen again. All they have to do is get to Glass Nickel Pizza on Atwood tonight. We’ll be in the basement.  

The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

 

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