Future Scholars and Pornography

class of 2017

In 1000 years, when scholars are studying the score sheets of Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia, someone will look at the January 26, 2017 show and think, “My God, can you believe they could get 40 people in one room answering these kind of garbage questions?” Of course, this will never be spoken aloud. Following the singularity, one person only needs to think it and the idea is instantly shared with all people, several memes will be developed for possible viralization, and 12 minutes of future pornography will be created following either the student/teacher or the pizza delivery driver/person in a mech suit trope.

But let’s focus on last night’s trivia at Glass Nickel Pizza. Sure, I tweaked a some things to soften a few questions, but it was still a brutal round. A lot of players out there asking, WTF am I supposed to know about a Ring-a-ding brothers’ pachyderm and WTF is a Texas? But that’s how it happens. That’s how you get a team like Franco’s Alternate Facts, walking in proud after a strong finish last week, then walking out with 53 points and last place. Working as hard as they possibly could, and plopping down heavy points on their Atomic Bomb double, Kitty Kitty Meow Meow was able to finish with 54 points. TWAT put up a impressive 60 points to keep themselves out of the gutter.

In the middle, lost in the desert like Moses and his people, or Dylan McDermott’s character in the opening scene of the 1990 sci-fi classic Hardware, we had Clever Girl. They were back in action with 68 points. At 72 points it was Grizzlies on the School Board and at 78 is was Neal of Fortune. Between those two teams it S. Neal playing a few rounds with one team, then a few rounds with the other and back and forth and back and forth, without allegiance to anyone–like the junk trader in the second scene of the 1990 sci-fi classic Hardware.

Guess Harder seems to have finally found their footing was able to land themselves in third place with 84 points. Counterattack of the Spoony Bards found themselves in second place with 90 points and probably should have doubled the category about Texans. And sitting on top last night it was Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot & Prongs with 92 points.

And to go along with their 92 points they questioned the category about who played whom on film and television, wondering why every role was that of a white man. I get it. It’s only by being aware of our flaws and prejudices, and the ramifications of our actions, that we can improve the the diversity of our Trivia.

That said, when I’m watching future pornography I don’t see a race or gender to the mech suit, or the person inside of it. I just see a 12-foot tall sex machine. The pizza delivery driver, on the other hand is always speaking with shitty, fake accent, wearing an absurd moustache, and named Luigi.

We’re back at it next week with some league action. See you then.

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