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Big Trivs

Last night it all came down to the tickets. I’m not going to lie, this entire fall league may all come down to the tickets. Some people think that’s pretty whack, but this is the way Big Trivia wants it.

Oh, What? You don’t believe that? You don’t think Big Trivia hasn’t been scheming, plotting and then monitoring every move we make at some place like Glass Nickel Pizza on a Thursday night? You don’t think Big Trivia didn’t know the team named Last Place was going to score 29 points and finish in…wait for it…last place? It’s fucking obvious this whole thing is just some game played by people with names like Rothchild and Buffet (of the South Florida Buffets).

And what of Fish Ladies only racking up 34 points last night. Have you ever considered that after countless generations of the vatican suggesting everyone gobble fish on Fridays, Fish Ladies are rarely going to have a really great Thursday? You don’t think Robin’s Phallic Art Service isn’t some sort of plot dissemination technique? The way they came in and scored 41 points. C’mon.

DON’T LET BIG TRIVIA PULL THE PASHMINA OVER YOUR EYES

And don’t discard Jeffrey Dahmer’s House of Ribs. They scored 43 points, lost 10, then played 39 drink tickets for a total of 72. What do you notice about those numbers? They are divisible by 43, 10, 39 and 72, respectively. THE NUMBERS OF BIG TRIVIA and the password to Jay-Z’z Tidal account. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot & Prongs played 23 tickets to end the night with 89 points. (23 drinks tickets. 23 seats at the table of Big Trivia–assuming they push a couple tables together. 23-inch rims on my 1997 Oldsmobile Aurora)

START NOTICING THE CONNECTIONS

Then we have There Will Be Spoony Bards, who posted up a clean win, but then had it taken from them with drink tickets. Such is the will of Big Trivia. This is just like how George W. Bush heisted the 2000 election and then did 9-11. And you expect us to believe Good Enough, a relatively new team who would have earned second place with their 82 points, was going to be able to just drop 13 drink tickets and finish with 95 for second place? No way.

But here we have numbers appearing again. WAKE UP SHEEPLE.

Finally, take a look at the team that “won”: a couple Jeopardy alums, academics, a Thin Lizzy fan, S. Neal:Cosmologist/Amatuer Lawn Bowler/Possible Bowler Wearer. Look at that list. Knowing what we know now about institutions like college and Jeopardy being indoctrination centers for Big Trivs, how could they not win, especially after playing 41 drink tickets for a total of 116.

Listen, players, it’s time to expose the truth about Big Trivia. But not too soon, because next Thursday is Thanksgiving, and there will be no Glass Nickel Trivia.

Anyway, take a look at the soil around Des Moines, Iowa, for example. Clearly, the moon landing was faked.

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