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For Your Consideration

Scene. The host, wearing a Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia tee shirt, strolls through a field. It’s sunny. There is a soft focus filter in use  

Host 
Oh, hello there. I’m glad you decided to join me in this field before heading to Tracks to night for Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia Classics.

B-roll of a bumblebee landing on a flower. Soft music plays. It’s not good and even the average listener things they could have maybe done without the ukulele.

Host
Before you go to the show tonight, it’s important to know what is and isn’t a classic. Certainly that’s a classic.

The host motions off screen and the camera pans to a Citroen 2CV with Françoise Hardy at the wheel before cutting back to the host.

Host 
Think of the scene in Jaws when Richard Dreyfuss as Matt Hooper says, “We’re going to need several more boats of this size or larger if we hope to stand a chance against Jaws.” Another classic.

Host bends down and picks up a softball-sized rock.

Host
Or what about the timeless prank where you throw a brick through someone’s window, then grab whatever valuables you can carry and get out as quickly as you can? A classic for sure.

More B-roll. This time it’s a frog jumping from a lily pad.

Host
But there are other kinds of classics as well. Like the Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia show tonight at Tracks. You see, the crew at WHT has over 10,000 questions in their catalogue and for Wednesday night shows they find some of their favorites and revisit them. Trust me when I say the questions still seem brand new, because everyone forgets the questions and certainly the answers within moments anyway.

And because it’s at Tracks there will be plenty of great food, plenty of drinks to choose from and the smiling face of Celebrity Guest Host Andy Berg. I gotta say, I think this show has the potential of becoming a classic-classic.

So get a team together and get to Tracks Tavern on the corner of Humboldt and Locust tonight. We’ll be in the back room, and the show starts at 7pm. See you there.

Host crouches down to smell the plants in the field, this when we notice he’s been walking in a field of marijuana, and considering we appear to be in a moderate rainfall region better suited for prairie grasses and wildflowers, this shit looks primeau. The camera pans up and to the left where a committee of vultures is circling sky. Fade out.

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