Big Trivs

Last night it all came down to the tickets. I’m not going to lie, this entire fall league may all come down to the tickets. Some people think that’s pretty whack, but this is the way Big Trivia wants it.

Oh, What? You don’t believe that? You don’t think Big Trivia hasn’t been scheming, plotting and then monitoring every move we make at some place like Glass Nickel Pizza on a Thursday night? You don’t think Big Trivia didn’t know the team named Last Place was going to score 29 points and finish in…wait for it…last place? It’s fucking obvious this whole thing is just some game played by people with names like Rothchild and Buffet (of the South Florida Buffets).

And what of Fish Ladies only racking up 34 points last night. Have you ever considered that after countless generations of the vatican suggesting everyone gobble fish on Fridays, Fish Ladies are rarely going to have a really great Thursday? You don’t think Robin’s Phallic Art Service isn’t some sort of plot dissemination technique? The way they came in and scored 41 points. C’mon.


And don’t discard Jeffrey Dahmer’s House of Ribs. They scored 43 points, lost 10, then played 39 drink tickets for a total of 72. What do you notice about those numbers? They are divisible by 43, 10, 39 and 72, respectively. THE NUMBERS OF BIG TRIVIA and the password to Jay-Z’z Tidal account. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot & Prongs played 23 tickets to end the night with 89 points. (23 drinks tickets. 23 seats at the table of Big Trivia–assuming they push a couple tables together. 23-inch rims on my 1997 Oldsmobile Aurora)


Then we have There Will Be Spoony Bards, who posted up a clean win, but then had it taken from them with drink tickets. Such is the will of Big Trivia. This is just like how George W. Bush heisted the 2000 election and then did 9-11. And you expect us to believe Good Enough, a relatively new team who would have earned second place with their 82 points, was going to be able to just drop 13 drink tickets and finish with 95 for second place? No way.

But here we have numbers appearing again. WAKE UP SHEEPLE.

Finally, take a look at the team that “won”: a couple Jeopardy alums, academics, a Thin Lizzy fan, S. Neal:Cosmologist/Amatuer Lawn Bowler/Possible Bowler Wearer. Look at that list. Knowing what we know now about institutions like college and Jeopardy being indoctrination centers for Big Trivs, how could they not win, especially after playing 41 drink tickets for a total of 116.

Listen, players, it’s time to expose the truth about Big Trivia. But not too soon, because next Thursday is Thanksgiving, and there will be no Glass Nickel Trivia.

Anyway, take a look at the soil around Des Moines, Iowa, for example. Clearly, the moon landing was faked.

Jock Week!

Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s Jock Week here at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia. I know 50-75% of the players out there just groaned, but this is what happens after a Gilmore Girls round. The pendulum swings. There is an ebb and a flow. Rory Gilmore Girls is certain to be followed by Jaromir Jagr.

That is to say, we are diving 5 questions deep into the world of hockey this week. We’re not going to limit the questions to the NHL, but we’re keeping it ice hockey related. There will be no field hockey talk and there will certainly be nothing about roller hockey–this isn’t some Kevin Smith trash.

Apart from the hockey category, we’ll be cover other important elements like the solar system and Pixar Animalia. Sarcastically I say, we go hard for Jock Week. In related news, I am now 3-7 in my fantasy football league and clearly have zero understanding about how sports work. Combine that with my fantasy-–soda and cigarettes with positive health effects, as well as an Applebees that offers both bottomless apps and endless naps–and I think my ranking is on brand.

Anyway, it all kicks off tonight at Company Brewing in Riverwest. There will be food, there pints and pints of the Space Whistle IPA and Nick will be running the whole show. All you have to do is be there and be ready to win. The show starts at 7pm.

See you there.

The Sad End to Week 45

I understand if any trivia players don’t make it all the way to the weekend. This week was a slog. I should have seen it coming after the Milwaukee scores were posted, but I couldn’t imagine it being as bad as it was. Sure, all the Madison teams survived. We all made it through the the mucky muck of categories like La La Land and Asian Horror Films, but once we were in the dinge of Wisconsin in the Industrial Revolution, I knew not even Rory and Lorelai Gilmore Girls could save us.

Check the stats if you don’t believe me. T.W.A.T., a team created in a secret government lab to be a trivia-killing force, tossed up triple zeros in the middle three rounds and ended the night with 18 points. Lady Posse, who came dressed for success–cowichan sweater and all– could only scrape together 28 points. Clever Girl snagged 30 and Good Enough pulled in 33. Neal of Fortune put up 50 points, which in context is quite respectable.

Scheme Skank Flickets used their abundance of drink tickets and the power of their addiction to get to 57 points for third place. Meanwhile, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs earned a clean 64 points but was thwarted by The Bardle of Spoonded Knee who settled on 72 for the night.

That win does give The Spoony Bard variants a five-point lead in the league standings, with only 2 rounds remaining. I suspect it’s going to get scrappy over the next few weeks.

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I have this mental image of what happened last night. It’s Celebrity Guest Host Andy Berg and Lewis, the man who is author of several volumes of slash fiction about the Charmin bears and Google android, holding the lifeless body of Trivia. I also have two possible paths for the dialogue to follow. At first, I was sure they would just hold the corpse, cold with algor mortis but not yet stiffened with the rigor, and say “Dear god, what have we done? WHAT HAVE WE DONE?”

In the second option Andy and Lewis are raccoons holding Trivia in their little creeper paws and saying, “Please. My wife. She’s very sick.”

I’ll let you choose the direction you want to go, but the the thing to know is this week is a killer. Just look at those Up & Under Scores. Shiva Kamini and Los Whispering Goat Whores both put up 45 points and tied for last place. 3 Guys on a Fact Hunt snatched third with 51 points. While Who Pooped in the Pool took second with 52. This is the first time Who Pooped… has been on the podium since a fourth team showed up. And Trivia Newton John won with just 54 points.

Nine points are all that seperated last place from the top spot. That is some real high floor, low ceiling, Being John Malkovich shit right there. I can’t wait to see what happens at Glass Nickel on Thursday.

Up & Under and Onward

The Green Bay Packers’ games are over for the week (if we’re honest with ourselves, probably the year) and that means we can finally move on to trivia. We’re starting out this week at the Up and Under on Brady Street in Milwaukee.
I got a feeling this is a show you’re going to want to be attend–especially if your regular show got rescheduled on account of a busted football game. Just look at happened at the Up & Under match last week. Some dude, or team, named Randy seemed to be playing for the first six round without scoring one point. Rough night. Doing slightly better, and earning 23 points it was Joe. Again, I don’t know if that was a team or just a single player. Those hooligans in Oi! With The Poodles Already pushed up a perfect Larry Bird. That’s 33 for those of you who don’t know about white dudes from the 80s with weird mustaches. The Whispering Goat Whores, always a contender put up a James Worthy. Again, that’s 42 for those of you who don’t know anything about number one drafts picks from the 80s who have appeared on both Star Trek: The Next Generation and Everybody Loves Raymond.
Flower Power put up 47 points, but that wasn’t enough to earn them a spot on the podium. Shiva Kamini grabbed third with 57 points. While Trivia Newton John pulled in 83 for second place. And the win last week went to 3 Guys on a Fact Hunt with 97 points.
It starts all over again tonight, when Celebrity Guest Host Andy Berg and Lewis, a man who may or may not be in charge of the seb-sect of the Mueller Investigation that is looking into “What is in this dip?”, lead the show. They’ll cover all the classics like Current Events and the Mild Card, but they may also go little deeper into The Great State of Arizona and Wisconsin During the Industrial Revolution. Who knows, they may even dust off Gilmore Girls try to wring 5 more questions from that oily rag.
If this sounds like your scene, I suggest being at the Up & Under tonight. The show starts at 7pm. See you there.

Double Jeopardy!

First things first, right? There is no Company Brewing show tonight on account of the Packers-Lions game.

Normally, I would say this is where we cover scores, like the 29 points Bitch Planet put up. Or the 39 scored by TWAT. Or even the 41 Good Enough cobbled together. But we’re not talking about them. Nor are we talking about Clever Girl’s 55 points or the insane-o brunch Amy from Clever Girl cooked up at her house on Sunday.

I will take a minute to discuss the Wolf of High Street. If you’ve played trivia long enough, you know this kind of team. A couple dudes, they walk in well after round one and I expect them to walk out long before round 10. But not these two, no no. They came came to kick some asses, drink some beer and play some trivia. And we were already out of asses. Anyway, they scored 60 points after dropping in a few tickets

Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs squeezed out 76 points, but was topped by Neal of Fortune and their 77. Spoons, Prunes an Automobards played 9 drink tickets and bumped themselves into second place with 84 points. But, once again it was the masters of the drink ticket game, Steamed Pink Lickets, dropping 34 tickets and closing out the night with 91 points and first place.

Then, as we’re wrapping up for the evening, I mention all the important points–If you have any category suggestions please put them at the bottom of the sheets. If you use faceback, please like and subscribe to our page, and an in important news Caitlin is heading to the Mighty CC, CA (no one calls it that ) to film her spots on Jeopardy. But before anyone can even cheer, Dominic, one of the previously mentioned Wolves of High Street, says, “Hey, I’m going to be on Jeopardy.”

Turns out, the Wolf is going to film his shows in a couple weeks. But more importantly, we’re running two players in the current Trebekian-cycle. Suck on that all you other trivia shows. And finally, we’re hoping Caitlin makes Ken Jennings look like a chump over the next few weeks. And then Dominic shows up and does the same.

For all you clues hunters, check back tomorrow after we’ve put this week’s shows together.

This is Halloween, This is Halloween…

Can you believe there was a time Reclusive Wankers did not play trivia? Actually, before that time there was an earlier time during which they did play trivia, but we need to talk about the time Reclusive Wankers didn’t play trivia.

I can only assume during this time they locked themselves in a room and just read Guinesses Books of Worlds Records and early-era Garfield comics (the ones before Jon died in an autoerotic asphyxiation accident). Because these MFers have come back with heat. Last night at Company Brewing they put up 106 points, while Das Tunnelsnakes, finished a distanct second with 79 points. Third place went to Butthole in One Night Standing Rock Lobster Rolling Rocky Horror Picture Show Me Your Tits & Giggles the Clown Fish Out Of Water who racked up 76 points.

The fresh Prince of Bel-Air Witch Project put up 67 points. Followed by The Best (Kia) Soul Ever at 66 and Lars and I Like the Way Your Belly Holds Your Tits Up at 63 points. And bringing up the read was Mana–O FUCK! Who held it together with 48 despite the indictments.

Now we move on to The Up & Under show where Celebrity Guest Host Andy Berg and Lewis, the real life inspiration for the Catholic Priest in Park Chan-Wook’s Thirst, are sure to bring all sorts of spookiness. They will also have access to beer and plenty of trivia questions. If this sounds like the perfect Halloween to you, and how could it not, you need to be at the Up & Under on Brady Street  at 7pm.

See you there.

Drink Tickets Make All The Difference

Closing out a week of end to end bangers, it’s your final Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia recap for October 2017. We started with the promise of Big Iron and the return of trivia legend Lars Sevvy. Then we rolled into the Up & Under show where The Whispering Goat Whores struggled but still put up 46 points. Shiva Kamini threw 68 at the scoreboard.

Hot Korean Sunset snatched third place with a respectable 72 points. Then it was 3 Guys on a Fact Hunt racking up 85, but still getting edged out of first place by Trivia Newton John who earned 88 points. Can you imagine how frustrated 3 Guys is with TNJ? Those shows must be getting hot.

Then last night we packed up a near capacity crowd at Glass Nickel. And if you thought the seating was tight you should see the scores at the top.

Sure, we had Sal, a one-man team featuring a guy named Sal, he joined in at round four and point 16 points on the board. Good Enough took the hit for having an overloaded team and ended the night with 18 points. I have to say, I respect their commitment to the team.  

Clever Girl eked out 26 points and has no love whatsoever for Marty Robbins. Multiple Scorgasms Spiralling in Viscous Plasma State (low-flow) Until He Shall Triumphantly Return had to duck out early but still pieced together 35 points. Drink Pics came in costume but only managed to earn 40 points. That seems reasonable as costumes and scores are completely unrelated. In my mind they certainly won the spirit award. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot & Prongs played one drink ticket to push their score all the way to 61 points. Then, it was Fish Ladies–hungry for a podium spot–who played 16 drink tickets and ended up with 71 points.

Bardday the 13th: The Spoony Chapter, cocky from last week’s win only dropped 5 drink tickets and ended up with a third place finish and 78 points. Dream Dick Trinkets flopped out 19 tickets and snatched second place with 80 points. And for the second week in a row they were foiled by one point as Neal of Fortune whipped a cool 30 from their ticket stash and claimed the top spot with 81 points.

I don’t know how next week could get any more intense, but I’m hoping it finds a way. Until then, get some rest and maybe consider shuffle your teammates, drop the dead weight and add some ringers.

Night of the Living Drink Tickets

As we embark on another week of Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia, I think it’s important we first reflect on the last Glass Nickel show.

We’re hyped to have a few new teams in the fold to shake up the scene, and in time I expect to see nothing but killer scores from them. That said, last Thursday wasn’t the right show for that.

Sure, the perennial crushers on Neal of Fortune have been down for a few weeks. Last week they only put up 36 points, and for the first time in like a decade they slipped from the top spot in the league. Clever Girl, another stalwart team, saved their double for round 10 and was bitten by the rabid beast of Bob’s Burgers burger puns, leaving them with only 42 points. Fish Ladies continued to climb the fish ladder and put up 47, only to be bested by Good Enough, our other new-ish team, who scored 48.

Then it became all about the drink tickets. Mooney, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs dropped 17 drink tickets, or dickets as they prefer to call them, and ended the night with 79 points. Team Crunk Tickets got super cocky with their drinking skills and dropped a stash of 56 tickets, giving them 99 points. However, after a bit of coaxing, 100 Spoons of Barditude opted to play four drink tickets and attempted to play a napkin wrapper (which they claimed was three tickets), which bumped their 96 points to 100 and gave them the win. That also puts them atop the league with 25 points at midseason.

It’s sure to be another hot one this week as we start off tonight at Company Brewing. If you think you’ve got what it takes to step in a crush a few teams, I suggest you get there. I’m also going to suggest you take a few minutes and learn a something about FLOTUSes, Cheeses and Marty Robbin’s classic jam, Big Iron.

Once you’ve got those on lock and you’ve put a team together, you need to find your way to Company Brewing. You can have a few drinks, perhaps a bite to eat, listen to the dulcette tones of Nick on the microphone and maybe even walk away the winner. All you have to do is show up tonight at 7pm.

See you there.

Madison Shake-ups

In the world of pub trivia, the recent matches at Glass Nickel Pizza have been some of the best the world has ever seen. There have been shake ups, old standards, stalwarts reclaiming the throne, and the rise of new threats. I assume this is just like Games of Thrones, but what do I know, I only watch Young Sheldon and the episodes of Kevin Can Wait since they killed the mother. I know a lot of people are busting on Kevin Can Wait, but I have a bit of sitcom intuition and I’m saying, “Stick with this one”. I’m really looking forward to the second half of the season, when the storyline takes a dark turn and we start seeing Kevin Can Wait’s flashbacks–his face sweaty and red from holding his breath, but luckily for him he’ll get to breathe again. His fictional wife, Donna Can Wait, doesn’t have that luxury as her life is being choked out of her by her husband’s bare hands.

There is this rumor in Hollywood, that Kevin Can Wait star, Kevin Canwaite, actually killed the actress on the set and they used her already dead body to film the flashback scenes. Just like when they pulled a Weekend-at-Bernies with the decaying body of Brandon Lee for the films The Crow: City of Angels, The Crow: Stairway to Heaven, The Crow: Salvation and The Crow: Wicked Prayer.

Anyway let’s get back to trivia and look at last week’s show. T.W.A.T. heard rumors that another team was moving in on their custom made caboose and decided to show up, showing all you other MFers what it really looks like to score 52 points and get last place. Kwoosty and the Fwowns, the team formerly known as Team Drink Tickets, are missing Kirstie and Kyle who offer the double threat of intelligence and commitment to drink ticket acquisition. They ended the evening with 72 points. Crouching Woman Hidden Cucumber, the new name of Neal of Fortune, sent in a proxy who put up 80 points. I assume that was some sort of gang initiation tactic, because Alex did come check on him at the end. Always contenders Clever Girl and Mooney, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs tied at 82 points.

In the top three it was Good Enough, newcomers who have some serious heat behind them. They dropped 12 drink tickets, boosting their score to 96 points and claiming third place. Ahead of them it was Fish Ladies, another new team who pulled together 107 points, lost 15 for an extra team member, played 14 drink tickets and ended the night with 106. But in first place, it was Spoony Bardday, Amanda. Apparently for Amanda’s Birthday she wanted a team without Becky, without Rob, just streamlined and ready to strike. Which they did, playing six drink tickets and ending up with 109 points.

If you want to get in on this mix-up all you have to do is be at Glass Nickel Pizza on Atwood tonight. Jake will be there slinging drinks. Simon will probably be on pizza patrol and calzone control. I’ll be asking questions. What more could you want from a Thursday evening?  As always, the show is in the basement and starts at 7pm.

See you there.  

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