Crowdsourced to Death

I’m glad last night’s trivia sesh at Glass Nickel Pizza was a solid one. I needed that, and I suspect some of the players did as well, as we rolled into today–one of the most annoying days of the year. The day when aspiring nerds and plush scifis all crawl out from whatever basement they dwell to say, “May the fourth be with you”.

Too many people said it on sōsh meeds. My own brother texted it to me. Even our super cool governor said it. He also said we need more border walls, so do you really want to be in his crew?

Now, we’re all educated-ish people here. We know the proper way to write a date is May 4 (pronounced May Four) or the Fourth of May. There is no May the Fourth or even May Fourth. Remember how a decade ago we all decided to stop saying “That’s what she said”? Maybe we could do that with all this Star Wars trash as well.

Whatever, I’m the dude out there getting wild drunk on June 16th wishing everyone a happy Bloomsday like I can even deal with Ulysses.  

Anyway, we wrapped up the crowd-sourced season last night with about 500 Bamboo Harvester of sorrow questions. In the end Good Enough had 53 points, TV Dogs got humbled with 59 and The Spoony Bards and the Bees fell one short of 69.

Third place went to Lorna Doon and the Fabulous Front Butts, who earned 78 points. Laura Dern and High-Waisted Skorts put up 81 for second place. And capturing first place with 87 points, it was Neal of Fortune.

This is good as it means Alex won her first week back from getting her bionic arm AND Caitlin won her last week at trivia. FOr those who don’t know Caitlin has supplied 90% of the sketches we’ve used over the last several years. Now she’s off to get archival in Minneapolis. I hope she can find a good, but not too good, trivia show up there.

Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia is back at it next week. If you want to start drawing pics, please sharpen those pencils and start sketching away.


Like George Micheal Said, Lets Give it One More Try

There was a time when a crowd-sourced show would have us dealing with five or six team-made Bamboo Harvester categories. And maybe like one category about Chickens of the American South, or whatever. Halcyon days for sure.

Kjersti Says Jeremy is the Worst brought us Name That Foreign Body, a category of x-rays featuring things people have put in their bodies. This brought up the discussion on how you might get the 3.5mm jack end of ear buds up a urethra, and is that a large penis. Still conversation counts for nothing and they ended the night with 40 points. They were topped by Good Enough, who submitted no category, are clearly not big Janelle Monáe fans, and scored 45 points.

Clever Girl also forgot to submit a category but still cobbled together 56 points. They fell just short of Ain’t No Bardy Like a Spoony Bards Bardy who gave us the Famous Jakes category and scored 57 points.

Laura Dern and the Low-Slung Sofas came in hot with a US Geographical High Points category, and walked out with 67 points. They tied with TV DOGS who gave us a much maligned Soccer category. But it was Neal of Fortune, with their Bamboo Harvester of Sorrows of Young Werther questions who nabbed the top spot with 80 points.

Perhaps the craziest part of the last week’s crowd-sourced show was that team submitted enough questions to do this one more time. So tonight we’re back at. If you’ve got your questions in, thank you. If you’re sending them soon, please hurry. Or if you’re submitting nothing and just want to see what makes your fellow players tick, I suggest being at Glass Nickel Pizza tonight.

We’ll be the raucous crowd in the basement, and as always the show starts at 7pm.

May Day

Welcome to May Day, players. I hope you’re all walking in a little late. Perhaps you’re going to cut out early, or maybe that lunch hour is going to run into the multiples. Whatever you’re doing today I hope you’re sticking it to the fat cats. Here at Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia, we are the fat cats. Very, very thin fat cats, but the bosses nonetheless. As a personal act of rebellion, I’m drinking three cups of coffee before tossing this post up. SUCK IT, NICK. I’m not sure how each of you out there showing your worth, but please do get out there and do it.

All that said, I hope Reclusive Wankers are taking the day off because those MFers put in work at Company Brewing last night. 99 points and the win? That’s not bad. In fact, that’s pretty good. Their nearest competitors were Titty Roosevelt, who pressed ‘em on the glass for 86 point. Das Tunnelsnakes somehow nabbed third place with 47 points. That’s a real steep drop off Das Ts. Real steep.

Behind them, it was There is Something About Merde, who decided to flex some Rosetta Stone awareness and put up 46 points. Best Return of 100 Ever put 37 on the board. They were trailed by The Sharpest Tools who had 34, Zack Attack who had 16 and Bi-Fast Bi-Furious who called it a night with 14 points.

Tonight, we take the show to Up & Under on Brady Street. Now you might be questioning our allegiances if we’ve got Lewis, the man who is leading the campaign for 55-minute smoke breaks every hour, putting on a show tonight. But don’t worry, the show starts after five, so it’s technically the next business day.

To be more accurate, the show starts at 7pm. See you then.

Today’s image come from instagram account of @BlackLodges aka Steven Vogel. His art is great and he’s certainly worth a follow.

Birds and Bees and Films

Ahhh yes! We are back for another week.

And like every week, we’re letting Nick kick it off with some hot league action at Company Brewing. And tonight that consists of 2005: The Year in Film, the Birds and the Bees.

Now, before you get all excited about it finally being spring–it finally being warm–thinking we have a category about making some love, notice those are 2 separate categories Bees and Birds. We’re talking about nature. Not intimate relations.

I can’t even believe your mind went there. In my experience Trivia almost certainly does not lead to anyone getting down. Not once has someone said to me, “OOOO that category on famous horses got me hand fanning” or “WTF? More like DTF.”

In fact, if you go back to my earliest days of pub trivia, it’s always been that way. Imagine an underage Greggers, sliding into bars on a fake ID, not only to get drunk in the way that is specific to a young man who is on college hiatus, but to also play some trivia. It’s summertime in South Carolina, the humidity is high, tanks tops and short shorts were trending hard, and there I was with a foxy young partner from Boston looking shake loose those catholic roots. I lean over, my breath was as heavy as Charleston air, but sweet scent of yellow jasmine had been replaced with the stink of Parliaments Whites, “Hey Mama, you wanna sneak into the Horse & Cart with us, drink some $1 sketch cocktails and play some trivia.”

And her response was straight forward. “No, you guys are assholes when you’re playing trivia.”

I just assume that is how everyone feels about everyone at pub trivia. I would never recommend it as part of a romantic evening out.

Anyway, Birds, Bees and Films of 2005 going down tonight at Company Brewing. All you have to do is be there 7pm.

See you then.


Crowd S-S-S-Sourcing Sourcing

Last night, while I was waiting for the last of the crowd-sourced categories to roll in, I opted to watch some broadcast television. Specifically, I watched a sitcom based on a podcast. This wasn’t my first choice of ways to spend a Wednesday night. I was going to waste time reading reviews of the Sleep album The Sciences and J Cole’s KOD. But then I realized I don’t even care to read a record review. Both albums are great and worth listening too and thus I thought watching a sitcom about podcasts would be better.


Everything about Alex, Inc. is dumb and I very much look forward to writing multiple trivia categories about it without ever watching another episode.

Anyway, the crowd sourced categories are in and it’s going to be a bruiser. I like that each team sat down, cracked their collective knuckles and said, “Let’s fuck up these other players.” For real, I’m suspecting high scores in the single digits.

And there is still room a couple more player-penned categories. Where’s TV DOGS on this? What about Good Enough? Clever Girl? These teams are going to need submit something to compete tonight.

Then again, anyone could walk in, bang down 50 correct answers and walk out a champion, never to be seen again. All they have to do is get to Glass Nickel Pizza on Atwood tonight. We’ll be in the basement.  

The show starts at 7pm. See you there.


Week 17, Milwaukee Style

Yesterday I told you, no, I promised you, there would be a show. And today I’m telling you there will be another show. Will there be online updates? That is yet to be seen.

We’re in the middle of league play at Company Brewing and SOME teams came to play. Some of the other teams, not so much. Por ejemplo, Bad At Trivia lived up to their name with a mere 24 points. But then again, that is the exact same number of points Best…eh…WhatEVER scored. And Bi-Fast Bi-Furious earned a mean 44 points.

Then it got tight in the middle where we had the likes of Scrambled Eggs and TEEB NABE each with 53 points. There’s Something About Mary River Turtles (well played) just missed a podium spot with 57 points.

Third place went to Titty Roosevelt who only missed 69 by one point. Das Tunnelsnakes put up 81, which is 80 more points than stickers they produced. And Reclusive Wankers walked off with a clean win and 90 points.

Now we get to see how the Brady Street teams handle this week’s questions. If you’re looking to dominate some fools. I suggest being at the Up & Under tonight. All you need is willingness to play and desire to hear 50 questions from Lewis, the man who once said, “Listen, I’m not saying everyone wearing Under Armor is a pedophile, but all pedophiles wear Under Armor.” AND HE WAS NOT WRONG.

The Up & Under show starts 7pm. See you there.

There Will Be Blood, and Trivia

You’re probably all looking at the questions for this week’s trivia show and thinking, “There is no way Nick is going to be ready with fifty questions tonight”. So far we have 3 wild cards, 4 WTFs, something about one of the lesser Glaswegian bands and a category that currently has no questions and simply titled Magic, Not The Gathering.

But rest assured, players, Nick and I have been doing this for a long time. So it’ll go down this way.

First, you’re going to decide if you’re playing Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia tonight at Company Brewing in Riverwest. Once you’ve decided nothing can provide a better mix of fun and frustration, you’re going to gather a team. Maybe you call your good friends, but only the ones with the good trivia brains. You might even consider hitting up that person you dated just a couple times a few years ago, but you stopped seeing because they were way too into Magic, both The Gathering and not. They could be useful on a night like tonight, plus maybe they’re still down for some light butt stuff.  

Once you’ve got a team together, you’re going to get to Company Brewing. The show starts at 7pm, but you’re going to want to get there a little earlier to grab drinks and get your food orders in.

Then you’re going to listen to Nick cover such fine categories as Continents, Janelle Monáe and of course, Magic, Not The Gathering. At the end of 50 questions, There will be a couple teams who will walk  away with prizes, there will be other teams that just walk away. But everyone will leave entertained.

All you have to do is be at Company Brewing tonight at 7pm. See you there.


Friday the 13th

Walking back into Trivia at the Glass Nickel last night was a little like the penultimate scene in Full Metal Jacket. Imagine sneaking in after a week away. A once glorious building now dark except for the fires burning throughout, which somethow offer so little light. Smoke clouds one’s vision. That might be smell of death in the air. You feel a cold sweat. Jake the bartender is posted up, sniping with a different kind of shot.  

I don’t know if trivia can live any longer survive in a place like this. I don’t know if humanity can. My thoughts drift to fever dreams of Werner Herzog and his documentary about the St. Louis-rapper Nelly. Was it too called Country Grammar? But I am brought back to now when I hear chanting in the distance.

I know this sound. It’s familiar even if I cannot place it yet. Three sharp syllables. The rhythmic, “Ta ta da. Ta ta da.” over and over until the synesthesia of my ears focusing reduces the clink of ice in glasses and the sizzle of newly melted cheese on the pizzas and all I care to hear is the sound of hope.


Of course there were other teams that returned last night. And of course TV Dogs, finished in fourth place with 58 points. Clearly, fourth place is where they are most comfortable. But the key takeaway here is Trivia lives on. Trivia survives. I’m pretty sure that’s what Full Metal Jacket was about.

Now, let’s discuss the corpse of Wisconspoon’s Bardest Trivia, I wasn’t even having drinks last night and I still couldn’t say that team’s name. Whatever, they finished dead last with 31 points. Where they belong. Good Enough proved they we good enough to not get last place by putting up 51 points. Neal of Fortune, still shook from their hosting responsibilities, could only scrape together 53 points. Clever Girl topped them with 55.  

Third place went to Guess Harder, a team that seems to think 63 points and third place earns you the right to request another Fugazi or Foghat round. C’mon, Guess Harder, that was too easy–all the Foghat lyrics were rhyming couplets and all the Fugazi lyrics were emotionally intense and isolating free verse not so much set on a soundbed as huddled on a cot at a sonic squat infested with irregular start-stop song structures, heavy riffs and elements of funk and reggae told with a hardcore punk backstory.

Second place went to Kirstie’s Rejects, who proved they can score 71 points without drink tickets. Then there was Hannah and Laura Dern and the Smash Cut Segues who nabbed first place with 82 points and reminded all of us that Happy trivias are all alike; every unhappy trivia is unhappy in its own way and usually includes Hannah.

Finally, I should mention that we’ll start all of this again next Monday night at Company Brewing. See you there.   


Shoulda Doubled

12 hours later and Nick is still shook from last night’s trivia bout at Company Brewing. I get it, Nick’s a strong dude, not one to buckle, but you have to look at what he was dealing with last night. He had one team leaving menacing notes for Celebrity Guest Host Andy Berg. AND he had to deal with a team that pronounces it “Mary-time”. As in, “We had to drive through Quebec to reach the mary-time provinces.” Or, “Three miles from shore, mary-time laws takes over in Lake Michigan. I once took a kayak out there and killed a man, and there‘s nothing the pigs here can do about. Eat my ass, law enforcers!”

And then there was the prototype Los Tunnelsnakes was showing off. We can’t even talk about that yet.

Anyway, Courtydia Alisovis showed up and dropped 32 points for a last place, yet respectable finish. The was a tie at 47 points between the Sharpest Tools and Scrambled Eggs, two teams named after items found on the Orthodox Easter buffet at the Hotel Baltschug Kempinski in Moscow.

Pepto Bisquick made the move from WHT Classics at The Tracks and is now leaving skid marks and at Company Brewing. They scored 60 points in their first major league showing. They were topped by Best Andy and the Dead Weight Ever’s 65 points and the 66 points put up by There’s Something About Maritime Law.

Third place went to Titty Roosevelt, who scored 76 points. I’m also astonished that no one has ever used this team name before. I mean it’s right there. Of course, then we’ll have to change the acronym from TMFR to TFn’R.

Don’t kink shame me, assholes.

Second place was nabbed by Reclusive Wankers who put up 78 points. And as cobras do túnel took home the top spot by dropping 89 points and some limited-run design madness. I’ve never been so proud of a team as I am right now.

Tonight, we move across the river to bring the show to Brady Street. Lewis, the man who coined the phrase, ‘Grover Cleveland? More like GROPER Cleveland”, will be firing off questions at the Up & Under. All you have to do is be there at 7pm and grab a few drinks.

See you there.

The Finished Product

Let’s kick off this bad boy, shall we?

WEEK 15 is here, trivia players. And that means Nick is probably/maybe/possibly/whateverTF starting a league this week. Is he hyped? For sure. Is he concerned about that categories we’ve written for this week? 100 percent.

I can’t really blame him. Putting it together it all seemed normal, but looking at in its final form, I think we’ve created a monster. Part of me feels guilty for what we’ve done and I can’t help but think maybe Antoni Gaudi or Stanley Kubrick or David Carradine–those who never saw their projects finished–were spared the awareness of the trouble they created.

Then again, maybe this all makes for great trivia. Who doesn’t want to be at Company Brewing tonight, ripping through a few pints of Green Gallery IPA? Who doesn’t want to show off their superior knowledge when it comes to things like US Labor Laws, the TV show Friends or Still Lifes?

That is fine selection of trivia categories, and frankly this is not a night you want to miss. So get your crew together, shake your fist at this lingering winter weather and get to Company Brewing in Riverwest tonight. The show starts at 7pm.


Older posts «

» Newer posts