The Beginning of the League Enders

Photo taken with a Motorola Razr

Big news for Trivia Newton John as they took home a trivia night win and creeped up, one point closer to 3 Guys on a Fact Hunt. That should make the final interesting at the Up & Under in a couple weeks. But don’t count 3 Guys… out, they still took home second place with 69 points. At 45 points and third place it was Whispering Goat Whores. While Shiva Kamini and Who Pooped in the Pool ran clean-up with 38 and 18 points, respectively.

Then of course, there was the Monday night show. To call it “Heated” would be an understatement. You were looking at One Night Standing Rock etc. and Tunnelsnakes both wearing 44 points, while Reclusive Wankers was just in or out of the cut, with 42.

When I saw that Reclusive Wankers name start showing up on score sheets a few months ago, I thought all the other Milwaukee teams were finished. It would be a slaughter. Certainly they will be able to topple a team who has allowed their name to become as bloated as Butthole in One Night Standing Rock Lobster Rolling Rocky Horror Picture Show Me Your Tits & Giggles the Clown Fish Out Of Water Boarding School’s Out For Summer, Best Ever After Earthlinkoh Tunnelsnakeskin Boots Are Made for Walking in Milwaukee, Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia! and those amateurs on the Tunnelsnakes.

The Tunnelsnakes are basically the children’s table at a Family Thanksgiving, but they got lucky this year because not everyone’s family could make it, so Tunnelsnakes got moved up to the adult’s table. And this is how Uncle Doug learned about The Ten collection Nike did with Off White, which he will mistakenly call “All Whites” or “Off Lights” until that shit is no longer relevant (which is like next Monday). This is also how little Tunnelsnakes learned about privilege, apathy, not-so-nuanced racism and sexism and how Donald Trump became the president. Uncle Doug also explained how Narcan is administered and explained how it’s dumb because that shit won’t even get you high.

FYI: I am still relegated to the side table at Thanksgiving.

What we also learned is that the damned Tunnelsnakes are all grown up. Those fools walked in, tossed down 92 points,pushed their league score up to 54 and walked out victorious. Butthole in One Night Stand… nabbed second with 51 league points and Reclusive Wankers took third. Hanging around, just off the podium, it was Mt. St. Helena Bonham Carter, the Best Cyber Monday Ever, I Like The Way Your Belly Holds Your Tits Up, BHS LAX Let’s Go Fillies!, What About Bob Loblaw’s Law Blog, and We didn’t Use Google, Promise.

I can’t wait to see what Madison has for us this week.

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