We Get the Leader We Deserve

You all know gypsy is a pejorative term, right? Good, so shout out to all that weak-kneed suckers who sat idly by last night and let a team name themselves “Gypsy Danger”.

But I’m not here to lecture you. Just go ahead and head down to Gypsy Taco and smother your subtle racism in trash food that is sullies the name of the Roma people and tacos.

Anyway, fuck that team and their team name. They also ended the night with only four points. Normally, I would write that this is standard for new teams and talk about how it gets easier, but not in this case. This team only scored four points, probably because they aren’t very bright and probably don’t need to come back to trivia with their general shittiness.

Thirty points up from there, it was The Alices, who managed to come with a ignorance-free name. They also scored 34 points. Topping The Alices by one point, 35 in total, it was Here For Bike Benefits. I hope they got their bike benefits, because they certainly walked out of Wisconsin’s Hardest Trivia empty handed (except for the great memories).

White Walker Rafting put up 42, James Worthy style, and ended up tied with Best BOATSEX Ever. BBE had to take a 10 point deduction. I assume it was because they they brought in an extra player, which suggests they really do know how to make the best boatsex ever.

Then in third place it was Tunnel Snakes. They scored 56 points. Typically I would take a few sentences to talk about the utter failure of this term. Honestly, they are so close to being good, but then they just let all of us down at the end. I was on the phone last week with Grandma and Grandpa Tunnel Snake and they were talking about how disappointed they are in their grandchildren’s trivia team.

That’s not going to happen this week. I’m going to tell you how Tunnel Snakes is full of super-radders. Someone on that team, someone with a cat and serious knitting skills, crafted a fancy hat for my daughter. And it’s big enough fit Inez’s giant melon. AND they sent it with a Charlie Harper card, which is perfect as there is already so much Harper in my house. Thanks Tunnel Snakes, you guys are top notch!

In second place it was the Reclusive Wankers, who aren’t so reclusive these days. They put up 70 points. It was a good score, but they stopped short and gave the last night’s win to Butthole in One Night Stand, who scored 71 points and also earned dad joke points because of that name.

Tonight, we’re sliding over to the Up & Under on Brady st. where Celebrity Guest Host Andy Berg and Lewis, the man who first told Ke$ha to write her name with a dollar sign, will be wrapping up their summer league. It’s a first place shoot-out between Trivia Newton John and 3 Guys On A Fact Hunt. It’s going to be brutal, and if you want to see it happen in person, be at the Up & Under tonight at 7pm.

See you there.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>